WEEK SIX POWER RANKINGS: WIN, LOSE, AND DRAW

June 27, 2023
Preston Sahabu, Commissioner
1. Wiffle House (9-1)

Quinn Thomas took the mound. The House had just been shut out by the Stops for their first loss of the season. The Stops smelled blood in the water, top seed and crucial tiebreaker within their grasp. Quinn Thomas took the mound. He punched eleven tickets and posted his second straight shut out. Reed McFeely stroked the clutch hit and Sam Thomas scrambled home. The reigning champs sit on the throne, for now. The Wiffle Iron is on the line in two weeks against Chicken & Wiffles.

2. Bilabial Stops (9-3)

Doing 1a/1b in the power rankings is for cowards. But the Stops are definitely 1b. Paul Rogers and Eddie Brown combined to only allow one run against the lethal House lineup, and Greg Nyssen gave the offense a huge boost with a two-run insurance bomb in game one. Battling the House to a regular season draw is an impressive feat, but it’s not enough to take the top spot. Their next matchup is at City Hall Park against the Crows.

3. Swingdome (6-4)

We do not know if Jimmy Froio dipped into Brindy’s Secret Stuff but he pitched out of his mind against the Juice last weekend, holding them to one run while taking a hard-luck loss. Nick Ludwig took the ball in game two and avenged his captain, punching out twelve while also holding the Juice to one run. He got two runs of support off the bats of Froio and Jack Sandstrom, and the Dome held serve over their rivals. They’ll open their Fourth of July weekend with a morning matchup against the Knights.

4. 100% Real Juice (7-5)

In a rivalry renewed, Aaron Hunter and Epo Olivares earned their flowers once again by holding the Dome to two runs combined, while Tim Haggerty came around to score both Juice runs on the day. Unfortunately they were a bit shorthanded in game two, and their five-man field couldn’t keep the Dome off the board. They’ll take the weekend of the Fourth off to be with their families, and get back to it against the Knights during All-Star Weekend.

5. West Coast Washout (5-3)

The Washout bullpen is the envy of the league, with Karl Koch, Christian Nossum, and Jeff Hanschmann giving them a chance to win every game and withstand any implosion. Their pitching depth got even more titanic this weekend, with the implosive return of Cory Smith and his stellar performance against the Knights. They’ll look to get the Fourth of July barbecue started early with the Chickens this week.

6. Dingers and Swingers (4-2)

The Dingers were out of commission, but will take on the Crows at Denny Field this Thursday. They have two impressive wins on their resume, but they’ll need to keep the magic going with the bulk of their schedule still ahead.

7. Sheryl Crows (4-4)

The Crows took a no-days-off approach to this weekend, scrimmaging on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. We’ll see if it pays off in their matchup against the Dingers on Thursday.

8. The Big Wiffowskis (2-10)

It’s been no secret that the Wiffowskis have struggled to score runs, but Captain Tim McLaughlin has stayed hot on the recruiting trail, turning over his lineup like a pile of rich compost. His work paid off this week, with relative veterans David Ona and Erik Kalstad combining with the newcomers for a thirty-five run hit parade. They’ll get a well-deserved rest from all that running for the Fourth, and will be back in action at City Hall Park against the Dingers for All-Star Weekend.

9. Chicken & Wiffles (1-7)

With a last-gasp comeback, the Chickens snatched their first victory from the beak of defeat. The Wiffowskis were struggling to find the zone in the top of the sixth before Mack Smith hit a clutch single and later scampered home to take the lead. In the bottom of the frame, Jesse Pearson tracked down a sky-high popup to lock down the win. Matt Pearson went on to 📢HIT FOR THE CYCLE📢 in game two with a beautiful true triple! Otherwise it was a 2015 throwback for the Chickens: five in the field, Matt throwing lots of eephuses, double-digit runs scored, more than double that given up, and way way too long on time. They’ll look to cross another victory road against the Washout. (Shout out to Kelly Ver Duin for stepping up to play!)

10. Skull Knights (1-9)

Sportsman of the Year 2022 Javier Hernandez made a cameo appearance in the Knights’ nightcap against the Washout, while Captain Wallace and Jedidiah Tillman continued their father-son tradition on the field. Unfortunately their steely lineup wasn’t ready for the Washout iceberg and they had to settle for a pleasant evening outside, which isn’t so bad really. Independence Day brings new opportunities, this time against the Dome.

Final 2023 Regular Season Standings
Final 2023 League Leaders
Batting leaders based on a minimum of 55 plate appearances.
Pitching leaders based on a minimum of 18 innings pitched.