Quinn Thomas took the mound. The House had just been shut out by the Stops for their first loss of the season. The Stops smelled blood in the water, top seed and crucial tiebreaker within their grasp. Quinn Thomas took the mound. He punched eleven tickets and posted his second straight shut out. Reed McFeely stroked the clutch hit and Sam Thomas scrambled home. The reigning champs sit on the throne, for now. The Wiffle Iron is on the line in two weeks against Chicken & Wiffles.

Doing 1a/1b in the power rankings is for cowards. But the Stops are definitely 1b. Paul Rogers and Eddie Brown combined to only allow one run against the lethal House lineup, and Greg Nyssen gave the offense a huge boost with a two-run insurance bomb in game one. Battling the House to a regular season draw is an impressive feat, but it’s not enough to take the top spot. Their next matchup is at City Hall Park against the Crows.

We do not know if Jimmy Froio dipped into Brindy’s Secret Stuff but he pitched out of his mind against the Juice last weekend, holding them to one run while taking a hard-luck loss. Nick Ludwig took the ball in game two and avenged his captain, punching out twelve while also holding the Juice to one run. He got two runs of support off the bats of Froio and Jack Sandstrom, and the Dome held serve over their rivals. They’ll open their Fourth of July weekend with a morning matchup against the Knights.

In a rivalry renewed, Aaron Hunter and Epo Olivares earned their flowers once again by holding the Dome to two runs combined, while Tim Haggerty came around to score both Juice runs on the day. Unfortunately they were a bit shorthanded in game two, and their five-man field couldn’t keep the Dome off the board. They’ll take the weekend of the Fourth off to be with their families, and get back to it against the Knights during All-Star Weekend.

The Washout bullpen is the envy of the league, with Karl Koch, Christian Nossum, and Jeff Hanschmann giving them a chance to win every game and withstand any implosion. Their pitching depth got even more titanic this weekend, with the implosive return of Cory Smith and his stellar performance against the Knights. They’ll look to get the Fourth of July barbecue started early with the Chickens this week.

The Dingers were out of commission, but will take on the Crows at Denny Field this Thursday. They have two impressive wins on their resume, but they’ll need to keep the magic going with the bulk of their schedule still ahead.

The Crows took a no-days-off approach to this weekend, scrimmaging on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. We’ll see if it pays off in their matchup against the Dingers on Thursday.

It’s been no secret that the Wiffowskis have struggled to score runs, but Captain Tim McLaughlin has stayed hot on the recruiting trail, turning over his lineup like a pile of rich compost. His work paid off this week, with relative veterans David Ona and Erik Kalstad combining with the newcomers for a thirty-five run hit parade. They’ll get a well-deserved rest from all that running for the Fourth, and will be back in action at City Hall Park against the Dingers for All-Star Weekend.

With a last-gasp comeback, the Chickens snatched their first victory from the beak of defeat. The Wiffowskis were struggling to find the zone in the top of the sixth before Mack Smith hit a clutch single and later scampered home to take the lead. In the bottom of the frame, Jesse Pearson tracked down a sky-high popup to lock down the win. Matt Pearson went on to 📢HIT FOR THE CYCLE📢 in game two with a beautiful true triple! Otherwise it was a 2015 throwback for the Chickens: five in the field, Matt throwing lots of eephuses, double-digit runs scored, more than double that given up, and way way too long on time. They’ll look to cross another victory road against the Washout. (Shout out to Kelly Ver Duin for stepping up to play!)

Sportsman of the Year 2022 Javier Hernandez made a cameo appearance in the Knights’ nightcap against the Washout, while Captain Wallace and Jedidiah Tillman continued their father-son tradition on the field. Unfortunately their steely lineup wasn’t ready for the Washout iceberg and they had to settle for a pleasant evening outside, which isn’t so bad really. Independence Day brings new opportunities, this time against the Dome.

The ninth is often deeply anti-climatic. Turning twenty-nine feels like nothing but a step to turning thirty. A batter weakly grounds out to end the game. Palpatine comes back, somehow.

But sometimes, the ninth is triumphant. A deaf artist is turned towards an adoring audience, vindicated. Over twenty years of meaningless pain transforms into hallucinatory joy. F9 was watchable, somehow.

While we look forward to the decade mark, this ninth season of Seattle Wiffleball is special all its own. We bid farewell to a few teams, and eagerly welcome a few more. New stories will be written, streamed live for our adoring fans. And most importantly, we will all get to go outside and have a fun time, thanks to a few ounces of white plastic.

Captain Liam McFeely’s reigning champs have started their title defense in rousing fashion, from their fresh threads to their perfect record. Their schedule hasn’t been a picnic either, sweeping through three of last year’s playoff contenders and another traditional power. These guys hit, run, and field with the best of them, and their pitching is still getting better, with newlywed Quinn Thomas shutting out the dangerous Juice lineup last week. So far the House always wins, but they have another stiff matchup this week against the Stops.

The Stops have had to weather some serious injuries over the last few years. This offseason they lost Noah Purcell to #ballislife syndrome, but taking his place is none other than Greg Nyssen, emerging from the haze yet another time. Their pitching is still elite and their baserunning is brilliantly entrepreneurial, but the offense has sputtered against top-end pitching. Their two games against the Juice were one-run nailbiters, and they’ve split with both the Dome and the Dingers. They have a golden opportunity to move up the standings and solidify their spot in the power rankings when they take on the House this week.

Nick Ludwig Is Him. Making his pitching debut in last year’s World Series, the big lefty honed his craft in the offseason and emerged with devastating movement and command. While he got roughed up by the House, he and the boys bounced back to score a 5-1 win against the Stops last week. Ice Bath Time Machine™ Comeback Player of the Year® 2022 Riley Brindle hasn’t had the same success on the mound this time around, but he’s gone off at the dish and racked up an almost comedic number of RBIs. This week they take on the Juice in a pivotal rivalry series.

After missing the playoffs for the first time in franchise history last season, the Juice have returned rejuvenated. Several veterans have reappeared in the early going, including ace Aaron Hunter, and Matt Rosenfeld has absolutely torched the league with his bat. They took the Stops to the brink in both games and gave Wiffle House a serious challenge as well, all while taking care of business in their other matchups. Their turn for the worse last season was a sweep at the hands of Swingdome – can they return the favor this year?

A spinoff of last year’s Skull Knights, Captain Zak Kosher and his squad are off to a dream start. In their debut game against the daunting Stops, they managed to squeeze out three runs with two outs in the top of the sixth, and Nick Cvitkovic shut the door for an emphatic first win. The mad lads would mount similar heroics against the Washout, with Cvitkovic not only dealing from the hill, but stroking a walk-off single with two outs in the bottom of the sixth. The Dingers look to maintain their momentum this week against the Crows.

The Certified Dad team has only gotten Daddier as last year’s Rookie of the Year Cory Smith has been absent in the early going. In his stead, offseason pickup Christian Nossum has been brilliant on the mound and at the dish, but they just didn’t have the firepower to overcome the House, and they dropped a heartbreaker to the upstart Dingers as well. Their season is still plenty young though, and they have a chance to right the ship against the Knights this week.

Last year the Crows #DidItForSheryl and made the playoffs for the first time in their history, finishing their season with a gutsy three-game effort against Swingdome. This year they’re more fun than ever, from postgame beer boot chugs to Captain Eric Sanford’s impeccable social media game. Harry Page-Salisbury also deserves a special shout out for breaking homers, hearts, and noses in equal measure. Right now they’re winning the games they should, and if they can grab at least one from the Dingers next week they’ll be right back in the playoff mix.

I know what you must be thinking: “How is a winless team not at the bottom of the power rankings?” “The Commissioner plays for this team, this is clearly nepotism.” But in this league we have to look at who they have played and the Chickens have had a tough draw, putting up good fights against the Dome and the Crows with Liam Munro cranking a beautiful home run. Things went less well against the Juice, but Captain Matt Pearson unleashed his devilish curveball to put some of the Juicers in hell, while building on his nice season at the dish. They’ll look to get off the schneid against the Wiffowskis this week.

While the Knights scrapped and clawed their way to a playoff appearance in their debut season, Captain Wallace Tillman has completely overhauled his roster in their sophomore campaign. Veteran Jason Matt has joined the squad and been hot on the recruiting trail, while rookie Noah Duszynski has been solid at the dish and on the hill. Wallace has also been pulling double-duty this year, taking the mound and hitting bombs. The squad scored their first win of the season against the Wiffowskis, and are looking to keep it going against the Crows this week.

Captain Tim McLaughlin succinctly described his experience leading his rookie team into their initial gauntlet: “I love wiffleball, but I don’t know if I’m having any fun right now.” But after being shut out entirely for their first five games, Brendan Carlson slapped a hit against the Stops to score the first two runs in franchise history. They built on that the following week when they took on the Knights at Denny Field for a Thursday night matchup, scoring their first win in franchise history. Riding into the back half of their schedule, they’ll look to build on those good feelings in their matchup against the winless Chickens.

11:00 AM – (6) Skull Knights @ (3) West Coast Washout

Midway through their maiden season, the Skull Knights were in a bind. Wallace Tillman and his gang of free agents had put up a fight with the Stops but were ultimately swept, then only managed a split with the lowly Chickens before getting kicked around by the Washout. Their backs were against the wall, and the legendary 100% Real Juice was barreling towards them.

The Knights bit down on the mouthpiece and started shoving, scoring not one but two signature wins. They absorbed a sweep from the Crows, then got a critical split with Swingdome to set up their final date with Wiffully Ignorant. One win and they were in – they got two. Now they want two more.

West Coast Washout are the defending champs, and have gone through a trial at the end of their season. After cruising through the meat of their schedule, each of the top three teams had to play each other in back-to-back weeks, and the Washout had an even tougher road with a makeup against the Wigs. Though they won the makeup, the champs dropped their first game to Wiffle House in a heartbreaking walk-off. Then they were forced to endure three punishing mercy rule losses at the hands of the House and the Stops.

Well then there’s only one thing left for them to do. Win the whole fucking thing.

3:00 PM – (5) Swingdome @ (4) Sheryl Crows

The last meeting of Swingdome and the Sheryl Crows was a freezing slog in the mush of May. Conditions were so poor that the new CBA was invoked and both teams received warming fluids for their troubles. Now they will meet again in the sweltering dust bowl of August, each having taken thrilling paths to get here.

Following their sweep of Swingdome, the Sheryl Crows solidified their position in the middle of the table by beating up on the teams they should, firmly sweeping the Chickens, Wigs, and Knights. While they weren’t able to score a signature win against any of the favorites, they were no pushovers either, taking leads deep into several games behind crafty hurlers and patient hitters. The first cut is the deepest, and the Crows will look to drive it through in their first-ever playoff appearance.

After getting swept by the Crows, the then-RBI Steaks fell all the way down to 0-7 while facing the peak of the league. Then out of nowhere, they scored their first and biggest win of the season against the reigning Washout, and the rally began. The schedule eased up, the pitching clicked, the lineup fired, and the reborn Swingdome rolled to a 8-1 finish. These veterans are hungry for another World Series patch on their fresh jerseys.

BYE – (1) Bilabial Stops, (2) Wiffle House

Rookie Noah Purcell lifted his visor, the eerie glow of his simulation chamber now unfiltered. “Why isn’t it possible, you stupid bastard,” he muttered to nobody in particular.

Purcell ripped off his helmet and stepped out into the lab. He had crunched the numbers, unfurled the spreadsheets, broken down every possibility, trying to find a way for his beloved Bilabial Stops to clinch the top seed. It was bleak. He looked up at the far wall, and the poster of his scientific inspiration Jeff Goldblum peered down at him.

They spoke with one voice. “Chaos.”

In a wild final day of the season, a shorthanded Wiffle House locked down two wins over 100% Real Juice, building a seemingly insurmountable +19 run differential on the Bilabial Stops. The Stops would not only have to sweep the Washout, but they would have to do so in emphatic fashion. In the afternoon heat, Eddie Brown’s crew did just that with 10-0 and 20-1 victories, and will now have “home field” advantage throughout the playoffs.

The Favorites

Powerful pitching. Hammering hitting. Fancy fielding. Ballsy baserunning. Each of these teams has flexed on the league, compiling nearly unblemished records. Incredibly these teams have avoided playing each other until these final few weeks, but the first matchup did not disappoint with the Stops and the House going to war.

Paul "Mister" Rogers was unable to House-sit this time, with the kids running wild around his neighborhood basepaths. Quinn Thomas held his own against the potent Stops offense to secure the 7-5 win. Unfazed and vengeful, Eddie Brown took the hill and absolutely dismantled the dangerous House hitters, handcuffing them to just one run on two hits. Sam Thomas pitched very well also, but nothing could be done as the Stops stormed for a 3-1 win.

West Coast Washout’s title defense has continued with little opposition, save for a hiccup against the RBI Steaks. Now they are about to face a ton of opposition, with both the Stops and the House to close out the season, and a makeup against Wiffully Ignorant to boot. The upside is that they control their own destiny in the fight for a first-round bye, as winning any four of their last five would secure the second seed. If any team is capable of this herculean task, it’s these wily veterans.

The Contenders

With eleven wins in the books and all their regular season games played, the Crows have clinched a playoff berth for the first time in their history! Overcoming offseason attrition, their crafty pitching staff of John Trupin, Grant Bronsdon, and Zach Gottschalk has performed with aplomb, backed by a patient lineup and a cromulent defense. Best of luck to them as the fourth seed!

This leaves three teams vying for the final two spots. The RBI Steaks have roared back from an 0-7 start, as Riley Brindle reached back in the Rainier Cooler Time Machine with a shutdown performance against the Washout. That display kicked off a full-on revival for Brindle and a 6-1 run for the Steaks, including a critical sweep of the Juice and split with the Knights. Their final series is against Chicken & Wiffles – they can punch their ticket with a split, and secure the 5 seed with a sweep.

Both the veteran Juice and the rookie Knights have had their ups and downs this season. In the home stretch though, the rookies have found some answers, with hurlers Jake VanWolvalere and Nick Cvitkovic absolutely shoving against the Juice. Javier Hernandez has also pitched well on the hill, grinding a win out of the Steaks. The Juice might have a one-game lead, but their last games are against a penthouse Wiffle House while the Knights fight in a basement against Wiffully Ignorant. Worse still, the Knights own the tiebreaker.

The Knights play on 8/7, so the Juice will know what they need to do when they play on 8/14. Until then, they are the world’s biggest fans of the Wigs.

The Spoilers

Dealing with absences, injuries, and ineffectiveness, these teams have had to weather the season in their own ways. Unfortunately the Knucks have forfeited their remaining games due to challenges in many of their lives. Best of luck to them all, and we hope to see them back next season, in whatever form they can.

The Chickens and Wigs had themselves an extremely fun roll around in the dirt. Ben Campbell’s “Oops All Eephuses” approach for the Wigs was eerily similar to that of 2015 Matt Pearson, which was extra funny because he was pitching against 2022 Matt Pearson. The arts-and-crafty-bread approach worked on the impatient Chickens, who went down 13-12. (Pearson did get his own revenge with a beautiful eephus strikeout, which for narrative purposes was definitely against Ben. Live by the sword, die by the sword.)

Game two seemed much more anti-climatic, with Noah Jaffe striking down a warehouse of Chickens and his offense building a 6-0 lead off of Preston Sahabu. Then with incredible fury, the Chickens flocked back with nine runs in the final two frames, including clutch hits from Sahabu and Andy Siegel in the last inning to seize a 9-8 lead. Yet ultimately the storybook ending would belong to the Wigs, with Captain Matt Erickson stroking a two-run walkoff single to win 10-9. The Stops and the House watched intensely as they warmed up for their series, cheering wildly.

Both teams will have a say in the final playoff seeding, with the Wigs looking to disarm the Knights and wax the Washout while the Chickens eye a barnyard brawl with the Steaks.

In a world careening through chaos, it can be reassuring to have a seasonal rhythm that keeps us grounded in the local and ordinary. And so it is with a heart full of innocence and competitiveness that Seattle Wiffleball soldiers into its eighth year. This season began on the first Sunday of May, with an off-day for Mother’s Day and a downpour of a third week, resulting in the first POWER RANKINGS of the year:

Power Rankings After Week Two

Housekeeping item: Captains, please send in your June availability if you haven't already so that we can get the schedule out ASAP!

"Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon." -- Rorschach on the 2021 season, probably

We find ourselves at the end of a winding road, at the end of the longest regular season in Seattle Wiffleball history. Despite an ongoing pandemic, record heat, and impending smoke, you all showed up, displayed inspiring athleticism, and hopefully at the end of the day, had some fun.

And for the teams in contention, it all comes down to these decision days.

You want playoff probabilities? We’ve got playoff probabilities.

Commissioner Emeritus Dan Rish really likes spreadsheets and has developed a whole-ass Monte Carlo simulator for the rest of the season. With the extremely scientific approach of “let’s ask the three dudes in the league office”, we’ve generated a dataset and now present our simulator’s outputs to you. Let the arguing commence!

Power Rankings After Week Ten

101 in the shade. 104 in the sun. The hottest gameday in league history demanded constant hydration, a giant canopy, and abundant patience with game pacing. With this coming two weeks after the rainiest gameday in league history, we can only hope that July is more mild.

Weather aside, week 9 featured pitching performances that shuffled the leaderboards and propelled former champions back into the playoff picture.

Last Week: 1
Eddie Brown and Nick Usoff gave up a total of two hits while shutting out Wiffully Ignorant in Sunday’s sweep. A 4 for 4 second game has Brown climbing the offensive leaderboards after a slow start. He now has a .586 average with 8 home runs to go along with a 3.45 ERA that now stands second in the league. With 14 games in the books, the Stops will take several bye weeks before their next matchup against the Mighty Knicks on July 25th.

Last Week: 2
The Steaks 6-2 Steaks had a bye in week 9. Their next matchup is against Wiffully Ignorant on July 11th.

Last Week: 3
WCW’s offense fell silent against Paul Rogers in Sunday’s opener as they fell to the Crows 8-0. The bats came alive in game two, with Jeff Hanschmann, Karl Koch, and Matt McGiveron all going deep twice in a mercy-shortened 15-5 rout. On the mound, McGiveron got his first career win, while Hanschmann closed out the game and remained unscored upon. Their bats will have to show up against the Mighty Knucks on July 11th. Hopefully the weather will cooperate for the sake of everyone involved.

Last Week: 4
The Knucks’ key series against the South Side Sliders will have to wait after Sunday’s postponement. Although idle, Brandon Wallach’s 2.70 ERA now sits atop the leaderboard. Another key series against WCW awaits on July 11th in a battle between two teams vying for a round one playoff bye.

Last Week: 6
Paul Rogers had a filthy riser working on Sunday in shutting out WCW on just three hits. He put on a clinic at the plate too, hitting three home runs and racking up six RBIs in game one. Game two was less kind as the Crows were battered for 7 home runs in a 15-5 (4) loss. The usually long lineup was just six players in game one and five in game two, and certainly appeared to play as a strength. Still, many tough matchups remain on their schedule and game two pitching has been a lingering problem that remains unsolved.

Last Week: 8
Nearly everyone in the lineup had a great day as the Juice pummeled Chicken’n’Wiffles for 35 runs and 41 hits in Sunday’s sweep. Luke Moedritzer homered twice in each game, Matt Guindon went 8 for 12 with two homers, and Adam Brickett went 8 for 9. The blue and yellow have now won five of six to get back to .500 and return to playoff contention. An intriguing matchup against Wiffle House is up next on July 11th.

Last Week: 5
100% Real Juice, South Side Sliders, Sheryl Crows, West Coast Washout remain on the schedule for Wiffle House, who had week nine off. It’s not an easy road to the playoffs, but they can’t be counted out as darkhorse contenders at best and capable spoilers at worst.

Last Week: 7
So many bye weeks. So little wiffle. Let’s hope Scott MacGowan can fortify the ranks in what has been a bumpy ride with a rotating cast of players.

Last Week: 9
It’s hard to make a case for anyone other than Liam Munro to win comeback player of the year at this point. A 6 for 12 performance against the Juice on Sunday dropped his average to a paltry .684 with 7 home runs and a 2.092 OPS. Unfortunately, Munro’s offense hasn’t resulted in more victories as CNW fell to 3-9. A whopping 207 hits allowed in just 54.2 innings pitched has been difficult to overcome, even though they’ve managed to get to a few tough pitchers and play tight defense. The Crows, WCW, and the Sliders remain on their schedule.

Last Week: 10
Noah Jaffe limited the Bilabial Stops to 7 runs on just four hits in a complete game on Sunday. Unfortunately, his control just wasn’t there and the offense wasn’t able to put anything together. The Steaks and Mighty Knucks remain on their July schedule - duck and cover.

Weeks 7 and 8 featured returns, upsets, and standout performances by three short mound knucklers who have all put up sneaky good numbers in 2021. Karl Koch of West Coast Washout, Brandon Wallach of the Mighty Knucks, and Zach Jones of the South Side Sliders now hold three of the four best WHIPs in the league. Despite low strikeout totals, all three have induced increasingly weak contact and limited big innings.

We can only wonder if other teams who are scrambling for pitching will join the experiment ...

Last Week: 1
Nick Usoff went 8 for 9, Eddie Brown went 8 for 10, and each hit two home runs in a week eight sweep of Chicken’n’Wiffles. Newly recruited veterans Andrew Ybarra and Gideon Manahan went a combined 10 for 18 while the Nyssens presumably sipped umbrella drinks on a tropical island somewhere. The once shallow roster looks deep and they’re firing on all cylinders. Wiffully Ignorant, the Mighty Knucks, and the RBI Steaks are their three remaining opponents on their path to the playoffs.

Last Week: 3
The league was buzzing about Nick Winn’s return in Week 8. He was greeted rudely by the obscenely offensive offense of Wiffle House, but the former Cy Young winner could be a game changer for a team that already boasts the league’s best offense. Tough loss aside, the Steaks appear geared up for the second-half grind. Stay tuned.

Last Week: 2
WCW split with the South Side Sliders amid monsoon-like conditions in week seven and then took a bye in week 8 to dry off. Karl Koch shut out the Sliders for three innings in game one before giving way to Matt McGiveron who closed it out from an ankles-deep puddle that once resembled the long mound. Game two rallies fell short and the conditions took their toll as WCW dropped the nightcap 7-6. They’ll face the Sheryl Crows in a 3pm Sunday scorcher with no shade in sight.

Last Week: 4
Brandon Wallach shut out 100% Real Juice on Sunday, giving up five hits in four innings while striking out five and walking one. He’s now second in the league with a 2.70 ERA. Brandon Williams went 4 for 6 to push his average to .622, good for fourth best in the league. Their series split puts them in good standing at 5-3 ahead of an important series against the South Side Sliders this Sunday. We wonder if a knuckeball showdown between Wallach and the Sliders’ Zach Jones is in the cards ...

Last Week: 7
The rookies are up two more spots after sweeping Wiffully Ignorant and battering Nick Winn in a week 8 split with the RBI Steaks. Liam McFeely leads the league with an absurd .846 batting average and we’re not sure that anyone is actually trying to pitch to Phillip Thomas. These guys flat out rake and their defense is spectacular. They’ll take week 9 off feeling good about their chances after a rough start.

Last Week: 5
The Crows boycotted the treacherous rain as Paul Rogers lamented his beautiful groundskeeping. We hope they like the heat…

Last Week: 8
The Sliders also collected their biggest win yet, splitting a week seven series with West Coast Washout. Zach Jones worked out of trouble, surrendering just six runs despite brutal weather and being down a defender. These guys scrap out ugly games as well as anybody and their resilience is encouraging. Their Sunday series against the Mighty Knucks figures to be a pivotal one, with one or more wins seeming mandatory to keep them in the playoff picture.

Last Week: 6
The Juice split with the Mighty Knucks on Sunday, losing 10-0 (4) before their bats came alive in a 22-8 slugfest in game two. Luke Moedritzer and Matt Morris both hit grand slams, with the latter falling a triple short of the cycle. Anything less than a sweep against Chicken’N’Wiffles on Sunday would be a huge blow to their playoff chances with formidable matchups against the RBI Steaks, Wiffle House, and the South Side Sliders looming in July.

Last Week: 9
Liam Munro homered three times in the second game of CNW’s split with the Mighty Knucks in week seven. Preston Sahabu and the pesky defense weathered 23 hits to secure the win 13-10. Week 8 wasn’t as kind, as they dropped both games to the Bilabial Stops. At 3-7, it’s getting late early for Matt Pearson and Co. They figure to need two splits and two sweeps to punch their ticket to the postseason.

Last Week: 10
The Ignorant ones couldn’t stop the bludgeoning offense of Wiffle House in a week seven sweep, going down 19-6 (4), and 16-5 (4). They’ll face the Bilabial Stops in week nine. Knuckleballs? Pre-workout? The hidden ball trick? The hidden cheese grater trick? Mascots? Tonya Harding? It’s time to get creative ... let’s see what you have.

Cool, rainy conditions somehow favored the offense in four slugfests on Sunday. 24 home runs had pitchers suffering whiplash and batters boosting their stat lines. Speaking of stats, the league average and OBP are now identical to 2020’s final regular season numbers at .433 and .528 respectively. Since we know you’re wondering, slugging is still down 48 points from .749 from last year. We have a feeling it’ll catch up.

Last Week: T-1
The 9-1 Stops bent but didn’t break on Sunday against Wiffle House, winning 18-13 (5) and 17-7 (4). Nick Usoff teed off, going 8 for 12 with four home runs while gutting out a 170+ pitch performance to earn the win. Greg Nyssen added three home runs including a grand slam and Ben Burkhardt continued his offensive breakout going 7 for 8 with three walks. The Bilabials sit now sit four wins above 5-1 WCW and RBI Steaks. They’ll sit out week seven before playing Chicken’n’Wiffles in on June 20th.

Last Week: T-1
WCW had a bye in week six. Their upcoming schedule seems favorable having already faced the Stops and 100% Real Juice, but there’s still a lot of wiffleball to be played. They’ll face the South Side Sliders this Sunday.

Last Week: 3
The Steaks find themselves winners of five in a row after sweeping Chicken’n’Wiffles on Sunday 14-1 (4) and 22-14 (5) on Sunday. Their 87 runs scored trail only the Stops who have played four more games and look even more impressive against their 46 runs allowed. We won’t laud Jimmy Froio’s offensive performance this week and will instead point out that he’s sixth in the league with a 5.54 ERA.

Matchups against the Sheryl Crows and Wiffle House figure to push the Steaks in the coming weeks, and a tough July schedule against WCW, the Bilabial Stops, and rivals 100% Real Juice will test the grizzled vets down to the end of the regular season.

Last Week: 4
The only team with less than six games played will face Chicken’n’Wiffles in week seven after two weeks off. Brandon Wallach’s short mound knuckler will need to continue to dance in the heat with many of their games coming in the warmer months. 100% Real Juice and South Side Sliders round out their June schedule.

Last Week: 5
An unexpected postponement gave Eric Sanford’s crew an additional week to regroup after a rough series against the Stops in which they were outscored 26-2. Their Sunday matchup with RBI Steaks figures to be a competitive one. Their games last year were extremely close - a 6-5 win and an 11-10 loss. Paul Rogers figures to start game one, but game two is anyone’s guess. Connor Donovan’s numbers aren’t pretty, but outings against the Juice and the Bilabial Stops can do that to anyone’s stat line. On the other hand, Grant Bronsdon has only had a single outing in which he shined against the 1-9 Wiffully Ignorant.

Last Week: 8
The Juice got a much needed boost on Sunday, dispatching Wiffully Ignorant 16-0 (3) and 12-1(4). Epo Olivares struck out 8 while only allowing a single walk - a very good sign for as he rebounds from control issues in the early season. Adam Brickett went 5 innings, striking out 10 and walking none as he rebounds from a few rough outings of his own. Each threw less than 70 pitches in mercy-shortened games, a welcome change from their 150 pitch outings in previous weeks. Another bye in week seven precedes a key matchup against the Mighty Knucks as they try to climb the ladder.

Last Week: 9
The Thomases and Reed McFeely gave the Bilabial Stops a run for their money in game one on Sunday, leading until the fifth inning and scoring in all five frames before their pitching ran out of gas. Running a four man lineup, they got a lot of looks and adjusted quickly. In the field, they were as tight as any shorthanded defense we’ve seen, covering nearly the whole field and catching almost everything that didn’t leave the park. As for the pitching ... well, the pitching is a work in progress. That being said, if they figure it out, watch out. They’ll face Wiffully Ignorant in week seven. Expect high scores.

Last Week: 6
An unexpected postponement gave the Sliders a bye in week six. They’ll face WCW in week seven, a matchup that was much closer than expected last year when John Selivanoff limited them to six runs and they touched up Dan Rish for 11 runs in defeat.

Last Week: 7
The RBI Steaks pummeled CNW’s pitching for 36 runs on Sunday in a sweep. A 14 run offensive outburst in game two was a positive, with Andy Siegel going 6 for 10 with two home runs. Still their pitching will need to perform better against the similarly offensively-minded Mighty Knucks this Sunday and moving forward to get them into the playoff picture.

Last Week: 10
Ya’ll got any more of that……Noah Jaffe? It ain’t easy facing seasoned vets like 100% Real Juice, and Jaffe’s absence on the mound was felt. Matt Erickson had a nice week against tough pitching, going 3-4 with a homer. They’ll give it another go against Wiffle House this Sunday.

At long last, all teams have kicked off their 2021 season and everyone has at least a one in the win column. It’s great to see Chicken'n'Wiffles out there again, it’s great that Wiffle House exists, and it’s great to play under the sun under somewhat normal circumstances.

Week four saw a wide array of blowouts and week five saw an instant classic between the Bilabial Stops and West Coast Washout that makes the top spot in this week's power rankings a coin flip. The scoop:

Last Week: 1
The Bilabials avenged their only loss of the 2020 regular season in week four, walloping the Sheryl Crows 15-0 (3) and 11-2 (5). Greg Nyssen stayed hot, going 6 for 8 with with two home runs and Ben Burkhardt went 4 for 6 with two walks. Eddie Brown threw three hitless innings, striking out five and walking one in a mercy-shortened appearance.

After dropping the opener to WCW 8-4 in week five, Eddie Brown remained undefeated on the mound to push their record to 7-1. Nick Usoff homered in both games to take back the league lead with six. With many tough matchups out of the way early, we wonder who else might step up to challenge the defending champs in the regular season. They'll face Wiffle House in week six.

Last Week: 2
After a week four bye, WCW got at least some measure of revenge against the Stops in a week five split. Karl Koch became the first pitcher to beat the Stops in the regular season since Paul Rogers did it last August. Koch is now 3-0 with a league-leading 2.14 ERA and 1.43 WHIP.

With five players batting over .500, a league-leading team ERA of 3.86, and solid defense, WCW seems as well-rounded as any team in the league. On top of that, they’ve hardly tapped into their deep bullpen, which will have to step up with the impending departure of Dan Rish. The South Side Sliders await on the other side of yet another bye in week six.

Last Week: 3
The Steaks smoked the South Side Sliders 18-1 in three innings as part of a narrow sweep on Sunday. Jim Froio worked out of trouble on the mound to collect his first victory of the season and homered twice in each game to climb the leaderboard with a total of five.

The nightcap was much closer, with the Sliders getting to Riley Brindle for 15 runs on 17 hits. But the Steaks’ offense was up to the task, with Brian Foster delivering a walk-off single to seal the win. Emerging rookie Quinn MacWatters went an eye-popping 10-11 on the day to push his average to .773. The Steaks play Chicken’n’Wiffles next Sunday. Expect the unexpected from both teams.

Last Week: 5
Joseph Marcoly and Alex Hatch each hit three home runs in Sunday's sweep of Wiffle House. The returns of Hatch and Barron Tanay, who also homered in both games, bode well for Brandon Williams' squad. On the mound, Brandon Wallach has quietly gotten off to a 2-0 start with a 4.50 ERA, good for fourth in the league. The Knuckledusters will next play Chicken'n'Wiffles on June 13th after a few weeks off.

Last Week: 6
It was a rough week four for the Crows as they dropped both games to the Bilabial Stops 15-0 (3) and 11-2 (5). Paul Rogers continues to give up few hits, but walks have been a problem as of late. The offense didn’t fare much better, only managing two runs on 8 hits for the series. The South Side Sliders await on the other side of a Memorial Day Weekend bye. A sweep of either team would be a significant blow to their playoff aspirations.

Last Week: 4
Similar to the Crows, SSS' sweep at the hands of the RBI Steaks in week four puts their season at a crossroads. Rookie Connor Jones is off to a great start, but their overall performance has been inconsistent. Maybe team attendance is to blame? MacGowan and Co. had a bye in week five and next face the aforementioned Crows.

Last Week: 8
Liam Munro went 9-11 with three home runs and two doubles in a split with Wiffully Ignorant in week four. His productive return after an extended absence is a great early sign for CNW. On the mound Preston Sahabu (yes, that Preston Sahabu) turned in a solid outing, giving up just two runs in four innings while striking out three.

Matt Pearson got into the win column in week five against Wiffle House, as CNW managed another split to push their record to 2-2. Munro racked up several more hits and now leads the league in hitting with a gaudy .778 average.

Losses to two previously winless teams is less encouraging, but we'll give them the benefit of the doubt as they knock off the rust. They’ll play each of the next four weeks, beginning with the RBI Steaks on June 6.

Last Week: 7
Gabe Showalter's got a much-needed breather with two bye weeks in a row. They match up favorably against Wiffully Ignorant on June 6th, but face a long climb. We wonder whether they’ll will shake things up or stay the course … time will tell.

Last Week: 9
The mystery team exists! Eight players debuted in week four and showed flashes of promise both at the plate and in the field on Sunday in two losses to the Mighty Knucks. As with most new teams, pitching seems to be the major area needing improvement, but their athleticism figures to ease the learning curve in the weeks ahead.

They got their first win in a week five split with Chicken'n'Wiffles. Liam McFeely filled up the box score, going 9 for 11 with two home runs. This is certainly a team to watch in the coming weeks. They’ll have their hands full in week six against the Stops.

Last Week: 10
Noah Jaffe went 6 for 8 and won his first game on the mound as Wiffully Ignorant finally got off the schneid in a split with Chicken'n'Wiffles in week four. A five player lineup gave yielded 21 hits along with a lot of at bats and crucial experience for a team that has been on the wrong side of the mercy rule several times in the early going. The only team to play each of the first four weeks got a breather in week five. A tough matchup against 100% Real Juice awaits…

After a soft opening in weeks one and two, a full slate of games kicked the season into full swing on Sunday. The radar gun settled down but the wind didn’t. Would-be homers were knocked down time and time again while low liners and hard ground balls seemed much more productive. For those still in Spring Training mode, our first power rankings can catch you up on some of what’s happened so far:

Last Week: -
The defending champions picked up right where they left off in 2020, sweeping the understaffed 100% Real Juice to open the season. A week two sweep of the South Side Sliders has them off to a 4-0 start, although both games were closer than expected. They’ve shown moments of vulnerability, but it's hard to rank anyone else at #1 as long as the Stops remain undefeated. Four of their six players have just one strikeout each and their offensive numbers would be much more impressive if not for unfriendly winds and some bad luck. They’ll face the the Sheryl Crows on Sunday, hoping to avenge their only loss of the 2020 regular season.

Last Week: -
WCW has come out firing on all cylinders, dismissing Wiffully Ignorant in double mercy and resoundingly sweeping 100% Real Juice to start the season 4-0 with a 52-6 run differential. Rookies Jeff Hanschmann and Matt McGiveron have fallen right in line with the returning cast - and everyone has produced. Shutdown pitching led by Karl Koch’s 0.75 ERA and 1.13 WHIP has the greenbacks feeling good heading into a week four bye. The Bilabial Stops hope to spoil their fun in week five and figure to be their toughest challenge yet - WCW is just 2-7 all-time against them.

Last Week: -
Riley Brindle looked like the Brin Diesel of old on Sunday, showing great stuff while limiting the hard-hitting Mighty Knucks to five runs and striking out 10. It’s hard to overstate his importance to the Steaks as they look to rebound from a disappointing 2020. Other good signs: Jim Froio and Quinn MacWatters each went 7 for 11 and Froio wreaked havoc on the base paths as only he can. They’ll face the South Side Sliders in week four in an important series as both teams look to jump to the top of the pack.

Last Week: -
After sweeping Wiffully Ignorant in week one, captain Scott MacGowan called for backup to fill their lineup for their week three matchup against the Bilabial Stops - and he may have stumbled upon something. One Jones became three and all of them performed valiantly in defeat to the Bilabial Stops 8-4 and 4-1 on Sunday. Zach Jones’ knuckler induced weak contact and the defense was up to the task, recording all 15 outs while making very few mistakes. Their week four matchup with the RBI Steaks could be a close one depending on which Sliders show up.

Last Week: -
A standout mound performance by Brandon Wallach and steady offense was only good enough for a split against the RBI Steaks in week three. We don’t doubt that the hits will continue, but pitching depth remains a lingering question for the Knucks. They’ll face the debuting Wiffle House in the 5:30 game this Sunday.

Last Week: -
A week three sweep after a split with the Juice should be worth more than 6th place, right? You’re probably right. A 3-1 start is nothing to shake a stick at. Paul Rogers’ has dominated on both sides of the ball and the Crows are racking up extra base hits like no other team. But game two pitching questions remain and their long lineup will need to play as a strength against the Stops this weekend and moving forward.

Last Week: -
A tough schedule and attendance issues have led to an ugly start for the former champs who already have as many losses as they’ve ever had in a full season. Back-to-back bye weeks will buy some them time to shore up their ranks and regroup ahead of what figures to be a more favorable schedule moving forward. Don’t count them out.

Last Week: -
CNW will make their league return Sunday against Wiffully Ignorant. We expect their trademark scrappiness to return as well, and the short mound bodes particularly well for their pitching staff. They have a tough climb ahead, but one or more victories on Sunday would be a great first step.

Last Week: -
We have no idea. They may indeed “have a squad.” If the Stops can come out of nowhere, maybe Wiffle House can too. If we could offer the young upstarts any advice heading into their debut matchup against the slugging Mighty Knucks on Sunday, it would be simple: bring pitching.

Last Week: -
It’s been a tough start for Matt Erickson’s crew, but all hope is not lost. They looked noticeably better against the Sheryl Crows last week and there’s plenty of season left. They’ll play the morning game against Chicken’n’Wiffles this Sunday before a much-deserved bye week on Memorial Day weekend. Much respect to the paper lineup card, the high socks, and abundant friendliness.

New radar gun: Acquired.
Schedule: Posted.
Rules: Updated.

Welp. That was fast. Wiffleball season is here again and we're ready to rock. Week one stats and other updates will added throughout the coming week. We'll see you at Cowen soon!

Check back this week for a full recap.

The 2020 season comes to its conclusion on Sunday with the Bilabial Stops meeting West Coast Washout in the World Series. The Washout looks to avenge their elimination at the hands of the Stops in 2019 and the Stops looks to finish the job after coming up short in last year's series. Here is how they match up:

Cy Young: Eddie Brown, Bilabial Stops

Most Valuable Player: Nick Usoff, Bilabial Stops

Comeback Player of the Year: Paul Rogers, Sheryl Crows

Defensive Player of the Year: Jonathan Stevens, West Coast Washout

Offensive Player of the Year: Jimmy Froio, RBI Steaks

Outstanding Sportsmanship: Ben Burkhardt, Bilabial Stops

Baserunner Player of the Year: Grant Bronsdon, Sheryl Crows

Defensive Play of the Year: Sheryl Crows' 1-5-3 Triple Play, August 9th vs. Wiffers

Rookie of the Year: Pat Riley, ISO Pale

Captain of the Year: Ed Brown, Bilabial Stops

Most Improved Player: Joseph Marcoly, Mighty Knucks

Golden Palms
Eddie Brown, Bilabial Stops
Pat Riley, ISO Pale
Tyler Racher, Sheryl Crows
Scott Macgowan, Wiffers
Jimmy Froio, RBI Steaks
Jack Sandstrom, RBI Steaks

Special Citations
Scott Macgowan, for bringing a quality new team to the league at a critical time.

Paul & Oscar Rogers, for their season long work to maintain the field at Cowen Park.

Pitchers/Hitters
Epo Olivares, 100% Real Juice
Nick Usoff, Bilabial Stops
Eddie Brown, Bilabial Stops
Paul Rogers, Sheryl Crows
Daniel Rish, West Coast Washout

Hitters
Sam Lacroix, 100% Real Juice
Luke Moedritzer, 100% Real Juice
Duncan Robinson, 100% Real Juice
Greg Nyssen, Bilabial Stops
Bobby Vadnais, Bilabial Stops
Pat Riley, ISO Pale
Alex Hatch, Mighty Knucks
Brandon Wallach, Mighty Knucks
Jimmy Froio, RBI Steaks
Jack Sandstrom, RBI Steaks
Matt Roberson, Sheryl Crows
Jonathan Stevens, West Coast Washout
Scott Macgowan, Wiffers

Pitchers
Adam Brickett, 100% Real Juice
Karl Koch, West Coast Washout

The Washout prevailed in a wild, back-and-forth game which featured three lead changes. The Juice seized command early, capitalizing on early wildness from Washout pitcher Daniel Rish. (Editor’s note: this article contains gratuitous use of the third person). Juice captain Gabe Showalter pounded a RBI single into left, and walks did the rest as the Juice built a 4-0 lead.

Epo Olivares worked out of early trouble against a 5-man Washout lineup, stranding two runners in the first two innings. The Washout clawed back in the third, with DH Jason Ciummo delivering a bases loaded RBI single. Two more quick runs followed on a Jonathan Stevens sac fly and an Andrew Winter RBI walk. At 4-3 after three innings, the game returned to exactly what the sporting world expected out of a Juice - Washout series. In the bottom of the fourth, Ciummo delivered again, with a two-out, two-run single to center, scoring himself (from an earlier at-bat) and Stevens. The Washout now held a 5-4 lead, their first of the game.

Fast forward to the 6th, with the Washout needing three outs to take the first game. At this point, 13 consecutive Juice batters had been retired via strikeout, dating back to the first inning. Duncan Robinson led off, singling to first base. Sam Lacroix then slammed a no-doubt homer into the centerfield bleachers, breathing new wind into the Juice sails. The rest of the side went down in order, but the Juice now held a 6-5 lead, needing three outs of their own.

Rish led off the bottom half, doubling on a 3-2 pitch. Andrew Winter grounded out, advancing the tying run to third. With one out, Washout captain Jeremy Salvo singled to right, scoring Rish and knotting the game at 6. With two outs, Andrew Winter drove a 2-1 pitch to the wall, winning the game in walkoff fashion.

Rish finished the game with 18 strikeouts and 6 walks, all of which came in the first inning. The Washout outhit the Juice 12-3 en route to the Game 1 win.

The Washout got out to a 2-0 lead in Game 2, courtesy of a pair of solo shots for Daniel Rish in the first two innings. The lead would not hold for long, as an Epo Olivares RBI single got the Juice on the board in the second inning, and a Kyle Ferris double plated two for a 3-2 Juice lead.

The Juice expanded their lead to 6-2 on a pair of Matt Morris homers to left field in the third and fourth innings. On the mound, Adam Brickett was in control for the Juice, working out of major trouble. That all changed with two outs in the fourth. Karl Koch homered on a high fly ball to center, cutting the score to 6-4. The next batter, Jonathan Stevens, grounded a ball to 3rd base, and bringing a world of controversy into the game. He was ruled safe on a bang-bang play, against the protestations of the Juice. Stevens was also injured on the play and had to leave the game. That play would prove a turning point in the game, as two plays later, Andrew Winter hit a home run to make the score 7-6. Jeremy Salvo homered in the next at-bat to make the score 8-6. The Washout would tack on three more the following inning, with Ciummo and Koch providing the insurance.

Karl Koch sealed the deal on the mound by inducing three pop-outs in the sixth, as the Washout took the game 11-6, and with it, the series. Epo Olivares led the way at the plate for the Juice, going 4-5, while each member of the Washout recorded three hits.

Mighty Knucks Shock Bilabial Stops! For a Game.

September 25, 2020

Mighty Knucks 9, Bilabial Stops 6

Bilabial Stops 12, Mighty Knucks 2

Bilabial Stops 12, Mighty Knucks 2

by Daniel Rish, West Coast Washout

Christian Heideger’s 5 home runs and 12 RBI paced the Mighty Knucks’ 19-11 wild card win over the RBI Steaks on Saturday.

The bottom of the first saw aggressive base running from the Knucks and a few rare defensive miscues by the Steaks.

Jack Sandstrom’s grand slam put the Steaks ahead 8-7 in the top of the second, but the Knucks’ pitching and defense limited damage over the last four innings while their offense remained steadily productive.

Alex Hatch was the winning pitcher, giving up 8 runs and striking out 6 over the first three innings, while hitting perhaps the hardest ball the league has seen. The lined shot cleared the left-center field fence in the blink of an eye and the radar gun just happened to catch the exit velocity - 102 MPH.

Brandon Wallach was effective out of the pen, giving up 3 runs on 4 hits over three innings to the regular season’s top offense.

The Knucks face a quick turnaround - they’ll play a best of three series tomorrow against the Bilabial Stops at 2:30pm.

Playoff wiffleball is finally here! The 2020 championship tournament kicks off with a rare Saturday game on September 12, with semi-finals following the next day, and the championship series on Sunday, September 20th. The Home Run Derby and All-Star Game will follow - probably somewhere between 4pm and 5pm. Anyone can participate in the derby and the All-Star Game, so come on out and hit some dingers.

With 97 degree heat and zero wind, the ball was flying. The Steaks and ISO Pale put on an offensive performance for the ages. A 6 home run game for Jimmy Froio. A cycle for Riley Brindle. 18 total home runs in a four inning game. All 10 players hit at least one home run. 31 hits for the Steaks. Many records fell. In other action, the Juice and WCW locked up in two tight contests that lived up to the billing and the Bilabial Stops locked up the regular season pennant while moving to 10-0. The aftermath:

Last Week: #1
The machine keeps on rolling, as the Stops pounded out 15 and 14 hits, respectively, in a 20-5, 12-2 sweep over the Knucks. Late runs were allowed by the superb mound duo of Brown and Usoff, but those are no cause for concern. Two more series separate the goose egg from the finish line.

Last Week: #3
"When you come at the king, you best not miss.” The Juice salvaged their hopes at the #2 seed and regained the #2 Power Ranking by rallying for a 9-5 Game 2 win over the West Coast Washout, highlighted by the return of 2018 Cy Young winner Aaron Hunter. The Juice pounded out 19 hits, but will need to improve their efficiency in order to get past their long-time nemesis, the RBI Steaks this Sunday.

Last Week: #2
The Washout gritted out a 5-2 victory over the Epo-led Juice, despite being outhit 7-5. Jonathan Stevens, Dan Rish and Karl Koch all homered in the first inning of Game 2 to take a 3-2 lead, but the offensive effort fell short despite solid defense behind Karl Koch, ending the Washout win streak at 7. ISO Pale awaits before the playoffs.

Last Week: #5
The RBI Steaks dug into their farm system for a much-needed sweep of ISO Pale. Five of the six players in the Steak lineup homered before an out was recorded in a wacky 29-18 victory. Jimmy Froio homered 6 times to gain the league lead, and twice more in the 19-8 nightcap victory to add to his lead. A win over the Juice would cement at least a play-in playoff game.

Last Week: #4
The Knucks failed to punch their ticket to playoffs against the Bilabial Stops, but that's a task which 5 teams have tried at and failed. They will go into next week’s 5:30 PM matchup with the Wiffers knowing exactly what they need to make it to the dance.

Last Week: #7
The path for the Crows to reach the playoffs is clear, but daunting. They would need to steal a game from the Bilabial Stops at 10 AM next week, and then watch the RBI Steaks vs 100% Real Juice with bated breath. Picking up a game in the standings would leave the teams tied.

Last Week: #6
The Wiffers have a chance to play spoiler vs. the Mighty Knucks (playoff hopes) and Bilabial Stops (undefeated season). Win three of four off the bye, and they just might make it to the playoffs in their own right.

Last Week: #8
These lovable losers banged out 21 hits in Game 1 against the RBI Steaks. Unfortunately, they allowed 31. Runs and homers will abound in their season finale date with the West Coast Washout.

Week six only featured four teams, but there were plenty of fireworks. WCW continues to surge, The Crows and Steaks both lost heartbreakers, and the Wiffers continue to hold out hope while playing their best wiffleball yet. Rankings, recaps, and ruminations:

Last Week: #1
The Bilabials remain at 8-0 after a second consecutive bye week, officially punching their ticket to the playoffs in the meanwhile. With the triple crown categories all heating up,xw all eyes are on Nick Usoff at the plate. With an absurd 1.20 ERA and a shot at the pitching triple crown, all eyes are on Eddie Brown on the mound. The Mighty Knucks, Sheryl Crows, and Wiffers stand between the Stops and an undefeated regular season.

Last Week: #4
The Washout collected two more huge wins at the expense of the RBI Steaks to push their win streak to six games. All seven hitters in their homered for a lineup that suddenly looks as deep as any in the league. Reigning Cy Young winner Max Melendez was wild yet effective on the mound while going 8 for 9 at the plate in his long-awaited season debut. Their matchup with the Juice on Sunday is one to watch (at a safe distance!) - the two teams locked up in classic duels in 2018 and 2019 and this could be a preview of another playoff showdown.

Last Week: #2
This week, the Juice gets squeezed out of the #2 spot while taking a bye. Batting leader Luke Moedritzer and hot-hitting Sam Lacroix are two to watch this weekend against WCW.

Last Week: #3
Williams’ wifflers remain at 6-4 after a week six bye. One or more wins against the Bilabial Stops this Sunday would certainly turn the playoff picture on its head. The upstart Wiffers also remain on their regular season schedule.

Last Week: #5
Holding down the #5 spot yet again despite a sweep at the hands of WCW, the Steaks look to reverse their fortunes against ISO Pale this weekend. Jack Sandstrom leads the league in home runs and figures to swing for the fences again on Sunday.

Last Week: #6
The Wiffers earned their biggest win to date in a series split with the Sheryl Crows on Sunday. Short mound accuracy and solid defense are becoming the norm for this upstart squad that’ll test their progress against the Mighty Knucks this weekend.

Last Week: #7
Rookie Connor Donovan aka Mike Hampton (credit: John Trupin) shut down the Wiffers while homering in a series split that probably needed to be a sweep to keep playoff hopes alive. It may seem harsh, but the calendar simply isn’t on the Crows' side. With only a final regular season series against the Stops left, they’ll need some help from the Wiffers in addition to some last minute magic to have any shot at the wild card.

Last Week: #8
Unfortunately, the road doesn't get any easier on the other side of last week’s bye. Par’s posse will look for a way to get off the schneid against the RBI Steaks in week seven ahead of their season finale against WCW.

Two languishing teams swept to reverse their fortunes and join the playoff conversation. The Mighty Knucks and RBI Steaks both emerged victorious in crucial series to make the playoff picture a lot more interesting. We call ‘em as we see ‘em:

Last Week: #1
The Stops got a break from racking up wins, and will have another breather week before attempting to finish undefeated. Standing in their way are the Knucks, Crows, and Wiffers.

Last Week: #3
The Juice piled it on against ISO Pale, with Epo Olivares, Kyle Ferris, and Luke Moedritzer going a combined 16-17 at the plate in a 29-6 drubbing. Adam Bricket limited ISO to a single run in an 11-1 win. After a bye week, traditional rivals await in the Washout and the Steaks before playoffs.

Last Week: #6
Just two weeks ago, this team looked like an afterthought. Thanks to clutch homers by Chad Kebba and Joseph Marcoly, the Knucks turned that narrative upside down with a 7-3, 18-9 sweep of the Sheryl Crows, earning an important tiebreaker in the process. After a bye, they have the Bilabial Stops and the Wiffers left on the slate.

Last Week: #2
The Washout took their first bye of the season, and now face a season-defining stretch vs the RBI Steaks, 100% Real Juice, and ISO Pale.

Last Week: #5
The Steaks avoided disaster against the Wiffers, allowing eight 6th inning runs en route to an 11-10 victory ended by a season-saving double play. They showed off their ability to win close games again, taking Game 2 18-14. The Washout, ISO Pale, and the Juice remain as the Steaks teeter on the bubble.

Last Week: #7
The Wiffers have not been winning games, but they have been playing fun wiffleball. Their epic but futile rally was powered by a Miguel Saldin grand slam. The Wiffers may lead the league in moral victories, but those only count in a team’s first year. The Crows, Knucks, and Stops present opportunities to add to the win column that counts.

Last Week: #4
The Crows dropped their 5th straight game on the season, a stretch which has been characterized by inconsistent pitching. They will need to find wins on the schedule vs the Wiffers and the Bilabial Stops if they are to make the playoffs.

Last Week: #8
ISO remained winless and couldn’t do much to stop the Juice. They’ll get a week off next week, with two series in which to find a win, against the Steaks and the Washout.

The Steaks, the Stops, the Knucks, and the Wiffers were all down or tied when late runs propelled them ahead for good in an exciting weekend of games. The Stops remained undefeated, the Wiffers got their first wins, and WCW made it four in a row. It's already midseason and yet these rankings could very arguably be very different. Let the speculation begin...

Last Week: #1
Down 1-0 in the 5th inning of game two, Eddie Brown's grand slam snatched victory from the Juice and completed a sweep of the defending champs. With a three game lead and several good teams in their wake, the one seed is theirs for the taking. They’ll take Sunday off before marching towards a favorable playoff spot.

Last Week: #4
WCW stayed hot, chipping away at Paul Rogers to eek out a 6-5 nailbiter and trouncing the Crows in game two to complete the sweep. Karl Koch continues to be a revelation on the mound and the addition of Jonathan Stevens gives their defense a major upgrade. In no particular order, the Juice, RBI Steaks, and ISO Pale await on the other side of a week five bye.

Last Week: #2
Adam Brickett limited the potent Bilabial Stops lineup to just 4 runs on 10 hits, a very good sign for a team that has relied on dominant pitching against tough teams in the past. While a sweep at the hands of the Stops is a tough pill to swallow, the Juice is still in good shape ahead of Sunday’s contest against ISO Pale. It'll be a great opportunity to reset with WCW and the Steaks still ahead.

Last Week: #3
A late-inning rally against WCW in fell short in game one before the Crows dropped a laugher in game two. Their pitching situation seemed similarly uncertain last year when they swept the Mighty Knucks and turned their season around. They’ll meet the Knucks again this Sunday in a crucial matchup for playoff contention looking to repeat last year's magic.

Last Week: #5
Mitch Barham reached in 9 of 11 plate appearances in his season debut, Jimmy Froio’s bat is heating up, and Jack Sandstrom’s propensity for the three true outcomes underlies how clutch he has been. Even so, a sweep of the Wiffers this Sunday seems almost mandatory with the Juice and WCW still looming on their schedule.

Last Week: #6
Alex Hatch had a successful return to the mound and Joseph Marcoly went 4-4 with a walk off single in the first game of Sunday’s double header split against the Steaks. Momentum and consistency have eluded the Knucks so far this year and tough challenges lie ahead. Sheryl Crows, the Wiffers, and the Bilabial Stops remain on their regular season schedule.

Last Week: #7
A doubleheader sweep of ISO Pale is a nice step forward and their bats look to be the real deal. One or more victories against the Steaks this Sunday would get them into the playoff conversation. John Selivanoff has stranded runners and limited walks in putting up a very respectable 6.00 ERA and 2.60 WHIP. Limiting damage in the other game of the series will be a key to their success.

Last Week: #8
It’s been a tough go for ISO, trailing the rest of the league in both OPS and ERA in addition to wins. Pat Riley has been a bright spot, showing up on offensive leaderboards and showing good hands in the field. Keep grinding.

The summer heat finally decided to show up on Sunday, and the bats heated up in turn. The day was notable for unusually fast moving games, a fence with a bad attitude, and two nailbiters between the Sheryl Crows and the RBI Steaks. The standings tell one story, our eyes see a...similar story. Debate amongst yourselves...

Last Week: #1
The short lineup isn't looking so short anymore. The Nyssens are raking just like in the good ol days, Bobby Vadnais hit another bomb, and the rest of the crew is hitting ho-hum home runs to all fields. Oh, and they gave up just one hit in each game of Sunday's doubleheader sweep of ISO Pale. They'll face perhaps their most challenging matchup yet this Sunday against 100% Real Juice in a rematch of the 2019 Championship Series.

Last Week: #3
The defending champs beat up on an undermanned Mighty Knucks team to separate themselves from the middle of the pack. Adam Brickett returned to the win column and Epo Olivares looked particularly filthy. Their showdown with the Bilabial Stops this Sunday could very well determine the regular season champion.

Last Week: #2
The Crows earned a hard-fought split against the RBI Steaks with both games being decided by a single run. Paul Rogers looked unhittable again, although control was an issue. Next up is West Coast Washout, another team that has mixed and matched pitching behind their ace. Expect a scrappy series from two teams looking to rise above.

Last Week: #6
Karl Koch took the short mound and surprised everyone, allowing just one run on 8 hits and no walks in a complete game victory. WCW's bats finally came alive too, cranking out 30 hits in a sweep of the Wiffers. Their Sunday matchup with the Crows is a great opportunity to build on their best series so far this year.

Last Week: #5
The Steaks showed great discipline against the Crows, eeking out five runs despite only one hit and pressing Paul Rogers before a late walkathon fell short. Big home runs and late heroics sealed their first season win in game two. Their pitching remains a big question mark with Nick Winn and Mitch Barham yet to play this season, but a more pressing question is which version of the Mighty Knucks will they see next week.

Last Week: #4
Nearly every team faces attendance issues at some point during the season. The Knucks certainly had theirs on Sunday, dropping both games to the Juice in excruciating three inning routs. Now at 3-3, Sunday's pivotal matchup against the Steaks will require them to show up and perform at a high level.

Last Week: #8
Although they're 0-4, the Wiffers showed signs of life on Sunday, debuting a handful of capable hitters and swatting several home runs off of legitimate pitching. They face the similarly winless ISO Pale this Sunday - a great chance to gain experience and maybe even a win or two with the calendar still on their side.

Last Week: #7
The Bilabial Stops ran through Otto Par's squad, depriving them of much-needed at bats in two run-shortened games. They'll need practice reps and heads up play on Sunday to turn things around.

Week two saw a number of standout performances and more close games. So far, it seems the introduction of the short mound has quelled the walkfests of seasons past and increased balls in play. Check out the newly updated stats section and decide for yourselves.

Last Week: #1
The Stops are the lone unbeaten atop the standings. One-armed Pirate Bobby Vadnais delivered a game-winning homer again and Nick Usoff stayed in control for a 2-1 win over the West Coast Washout. The offense came alive in the nightcap, scoring a 12-0 shutout with Eddie Brown on the mound. They'll look to keep the streak alive this week against ISO Pale.

Last Week: #3
The Crows plated 11 in the opener and Paul Rogers cruised on the mound. He gave up his first two hits via infield pop-up, but the defense was otherwise tight. The Crows came up short in rallying from an 8-1 deficit, but a time limited game saw the game end 8-4 with the tying run at the plate. They'll be tested again on Sunday against the RBI Steaks.

Last Week: #2
Adam Brickett returned to the mound in Game 1, but the fireballer was touched up by the Sherly Crows to the tune of an 11-0 loss. Epo Olivares pitched the Juice to victory in Game 2 with an 8-4 win that wasn't as close as the result suggests. Their pitching and defense will need to tighten up against the hot-hitting Mighty Knucks.

Last Week: #5
The Knucks continued their high offensive output, belting another 8 home runs in a doubleheader sweep of ISO Pale. Brandon Wallach was victorious in his season debut and Alex Hatch continues to rake. 100% Real Juice could be their toughest matchup yet. A doubleheader split or better would put them in great shape for playoff run.

Last Week: #6
Perception is reality, and the Steaks are the beneficiaries of a one-spot bump while inactive. Their late-day matchup against the Crows this Sunday could either put them back in contention or make their situation a dire one.

Last Week: #4
The Washout's defense stranded runners and limited damage against the Stops, but their offense was punchless in defeat. Their bats will need to wake up quickly if they want a shot at the playoffs. They face the winless Wiffers this Sunday.

Last Week: #8
Pale remained winless but showed signs of life offensively, leading a powerful Knucks team 4-3 early. Though they couldn't seal the deal, they showed they can keep it close. They'll look to induce more weak popups this Sunday against the Bilabial Stops.

Last Week: -
The Wiffers were inactive, so they earned no style points.

At long last, we have returned! Week one was a welcome reacquaintance in unfamiliar times. There were pitchers' duels, slugfests, and even a few Jose Cansecoesque bonks that went over the fence. In lieu of full recaps, this year we have elected to produce weekly power rankings to summarize and theorize. Here we go...

Last Week: -
The Stops impressed with a sweep against a perennial contender in the RBI Steaks. Bobby Vadnais smacked two one-armed homers, only to be outdone by Nick Usoff's five. This week, they'll face West Coast Washout with whom they split last season before defeating them two games to one in the first round of the playoffs.

Last Week: -
Two straight titles and no #1 power ranking? Don't feel too sorry for this Rodney Dangerfield team. They pushed 41 runs across the plate, but tougher tests await. Their upcoming matchup against the Sheryl Crows this Sunday could tell us a lot about both teams.

Last Week: -
Don't look now, but the pitching staff is completely retooled from 2019. Paul Rogers threw a no-no in his return to league play after a one-year hiatus. One or more victories against the Juice this weekend would solidify them as early contenders.

Last Week: -
The Washout edge the Knucks by virtue of winning the pitching duel of the series, but both offense and pitching will need to improve to keep their standing. This week, they'll face the Bilabial Stops with playoff revenge in mind.

Last Week: -
The Knucks left runners on base in the opener, a mistake they would not repeat. They banged out 15 hits and 7 homers in the second game. They'll look to continue the fireworks against ISO Pale, whom they scored 37 runs against in their doubleheader last year.

Last Week: -
The Steaks lacked a little firepower from the mound against good competition, and came out on the wrong side of a pitching duel. When their pitching, look out above. A week two bye gives them a chance to regroup early on.

Last Week: -
At one point, the Wiffers led the Juice 7-1 before reality came calling for these newcomers. They will have to figure out their mound game, but feature a capable lineup. A few bullpen sessions might be in order during their bye week ahead of their week three matchup against the Sheryl Crows.

Last Week: -
There wasn't a whole lot going on at the plate in the season debut for ISO Pale in their debut, managing only 4 hits over two games. Expect a shifting lineup to improve over the coming weeks. This Sunday's matchup against the Mighty Knucks is an important one for turning it around.

Game One was a showdown between 2019 Cy Young winner Aaron Hunter of 100% Real Juice and rookie sensation Eddie Brown of the Bilabials Stops. The Juice batted six, a trim lineup for them, while the Stops took the field with only four.

Things started off well for the Juice in the first, with back-to-back walks. Matt Guindon looked to put the Juice on the board first, blooping what would be a double into the outfield. Nick Usoff, the Stops lone outfield and possibly world’s fastest man, made the first game-changing play of the series, rifling a relay to Brown near the mound, who turned and fired, cutting down Matt Morris just before his foot touched down on the plate. The play turned the tide, and back-to-back strikeouts ended the threat. In the bottom of the inning, Hunter took to the mound. What was it, the pressure of the moment? An over-charged gun? Hunter rocked and fired and missed, rocked and fired and missed. Walk, walk, walk. Ben Burkhardt squibbed a 20-footer, scoring the first run and leaving the bases loaded with none out. Eddie Brown singles. Walks by Usoff and Bobby Vadnais followed, before another Burkhardt single and a fielder’s choice by Brown. Lightning had struck on a clear day. Only one out in, and it was 6-0 Bilabial Stops.

These are the moments when strong men can crack, where mental midgets are revealed.

Hunter walked one more before stranding the bases loaded on two strikeouts, and the pro-Juice faction breathed an uneasy sigh of relief. Still, the talking heads on the sidelines were murmuring. Could it really happen? Could the underdogs be turning the script upside down?

The grid can’t be held down for long. The Juice came back to life -- after a pair of lead-off walks, doubles by Matt Guindon and Sam Lacroix made the score 6-4. A clean inning followed, with the Stops’ lead feeling more tenuous. Walk, single, walk, walk. 6-5. Then deliverance for the Juice, in the form of a Tim Haggerty double. 7-6 Juice.

Matt Morris added a 4th inning insurance run, and then the dam broke in the 6th. “A carousel of defensive miscues with aggressive baserunning,” Preston Sahabu notes. The Juice scored 6, including 4 with two outs, and coasted to a 14-6 victory.

After the first inning, Aaron Hunter allowed just two walks and two singles.

In Game 2, it was Epo Olivares on the mound for the Juice, fresh out of his Eminem jacket and feeling a bit "under the weather". Nick Usoff took the ball for the Stops. Usoff faced offensive resistance, but due to his team’s superb defense in the first, with all outs recorded in the field, avoided harm. After two full, the score was still 0-0. If Epo was feeling out of sorts, it did not show. He pitched a flawless first, and then worked out of harmless jams in innings two and three.

In the third, Gabe Showalter belted a two-run dinger to get the ball rolling for the Juice. A single by Matt Morris, and RBI hits by Matt Guindon and Sam Lacroix extended the lead to 5-0. The Juice would tack on one more in the 4th via an Aaron Hunter double, but the pitching of Epo kept this a drama-free affair. He scattered three hits and eight walks over the outing, and left the bases loaded in the 6th to seal a second title for the Juice.

Dearest apologies for our radio silence the last few weeks, it has been a hectic time in the personal lives of the front office. Below is the playoff preview, followed by scorelines for the last several series and recaps where we have them.

1. RBI Steaks (14-2)
2. Bilabial Stops (13-3)
3. West Coast Washout (11-5)

The RBI Steaks took care of business on the back end of their schedule and cruised by the Bilabial Stops into first place. They will face off with the wild card winner, which will be a great matchup either way.

Meanwhile the Stops and West Coast Washout will do battle on the other side of the bracket. The two squads split the regular season doubleheader, so the outcome of that one is completely in question.

Wild Card
4. 100% Real Juice (11-5)
5. Mighty Knucks (8-8)

100% Real Juice had already clinched a playoff spot heading into the final week, but they swept the Mighty Knucks to close the season. Moving straight from that to a one game playoff is going to be tough sledding for the Knucks, but they certainly have the offense to make it a game.

6. Sheryl Crows (7-9)
7. Hang and Bang (5-11)
8. Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles (2-14)
9. ISO Pale (1-15)

Despite a valiant late season run, the Sheryl Crows could not scratch a win against the Bilabial Stops in the final week and were eliminated from playoff contention. With their rapid improvement over this summer, they should be the favorites in the new Seattle Wiffleball NIT, a consolation tournament with one game playoffs. The Crows will take on ISO Pale in the opening round, while Hang and Bang will square off against Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles.

In a few short weeks, the Crows have not only proven they belong in the playoff picture, but also that they are improving rapidly. They faced perhaps their biggest challenge yet on Sunday as Grant Bronsdon faced off against Dan Rish in game one.

It became apparent in the first few innings that runs would be at a premium. The Washout scored in the first on a Jason Matt bases loaded walk, but left the bases loaded as Bronsdon worked out of a tough jam. The Crows hit two singles of their own in the bottom of the inning, but Rish was able to work around trouble as well, eventually striking out the side.

Grant Bronsdon would help his own cause in the second by tripling home the curiously named Colin Bronsdon in the second to tie the game. In the third, Kevin Tsuchida would give WCW a 2-1 lead on a fielder’s choice.

From there, both pitchers settled in - Bronsdon featuring a churve that convinced many West Coast hitters expand the strike zone. Rish featured the kitchen the sink and induced some silly-looking swings from the Crows. The Washout would squeeze out two more runs including a Julian Morales single and a Dan Rish home run to eek out a close one. The Crows threatened in the 6th, but Rish slammed the door, striking out a total of 15 while walking just 1 in a complete game victory.

Sometimes teams are forced to go without their best pitchers and hope for the best with a spot starter. Sometimes they craft a plan to weather a barrage of hits with clever defense and patient hitting. Sometimes their opponents sense an opportunity swoop down to snatch victory.

With ace Max Melendez out, the Washout were forced to dig deep for pitching in game two. Jeremy Salvo took the hill for his first appearance of the year, matching up against the 3-0 Matthew Roberson.

The Crows showed a great mix of patience and aggressiveness in the first, putting up two runs on two walks and two hits. The back and forth series would continue in the bottom of the inning as WCW took a 3-2 lead on a Salvo leadoff home run and singles by Dan Rish and Andrew Winter, who both somehow scored on a Jason Ciummo fielder’s choice.

The Crows put up another five in the 2nd inning, including a Zach Gottschalk RBI single and a Roberson single that scored two. WCW once again returned fire with home runs from Winter and Julian Morales in the second, but once again left runners on and couldn’t blow it open. The third inning proved to be the turning point. With WCW up 10-9, Eric Sanford hit a scorching two run double to the gap to regain the lead for the Sheryl Crows. Roberson shut down the Washout in the bottom of the inning, stranding two and retiring the side minutes before the time limit was reached. With Salvo up over 100 pitches and laboring, the Crows pulled away with seven runs in the fourth and final inning, capped off by a Zach Gottschalk grand slam. Roberson once again proved resilient, retiring the side despite home runs from Rish and Morales. All in all, the Crows once again showed a lot of heart and great defense in earning a well deserved split and maintaining playoff relevance heading into their last double header of the regular season.

We had four fun matchups this week, with ISO Pale gritting out two doubleheaders by playing a weekday game. There was a World Series rematch, a slugfest that revealed a new playoff contender, and many, many home runs. Playoffs are looming and the race is heating up. Be sure to check out the updated playoff picture after the recaps!

The last time the West Coast Washout walked onto a field with 100% Real Juice, the Juicers walked off with the Leaning Golden Man. The stakes were a little lower this time around, but somehow it didn’t feel much different. Things started dicey for the Washout, with your narrator working himself into and then out of a bases-loaded, one out jam, a double by Matt Guindon being rendered harmless. Reigning Cy Young winner Aaron Hunter then took the mound for the Juice, not showing any signs of lag - jet or otherwise - as he recorded three quick outs to start his third series of the season, gaining playoff eligibility after an offseason move to California.

In the third, Max Melendez and Andrew Winter led off with back-to-back singles just past the foul arc. After a Rish popout and a Jeremy Salvo strikeout, Conor Roberson delivered a clutch two out hit to plate the first run of the game. Salvo doubled home another run the following inning to make it 2-0. The Juice made things interesting in the bottom of the inning, with singles from Hunter and Epo Olivarez, but Hunter was cut off going to third on a controversially close inning-ending fielder’s choice. Winter doubled home an insurance run in the 5th, then three K’s later, it was over. Olivarez, Winter and Salvo each notched two hits to lead all hitters.

At this point, the Washout and Juice were tied for the #3/4 playoff spots. The all-important distinction would be determined for the moment by the winner of Game 2. The duo of Max Melendez and Epo Olivarez would settle it with a duel. The visitors started off by loading the bases with no outs, only for Olivarez to skirt trouble. Melendez responded by striking out the side.

The biggest threat from the Juice came in the second. With the bases loaded and two outs, Tim Haggerty slapped a ball the other way, but right into the basepath where Adam Brickett was the victim of a fielder’s choice. Back and forth, scoreless -- but with Epo piling up bases loaded jams and runners left on base. That would catch up to him finally in the fifth, when Jeremy Salvo scored on a 50-50 ball, leaving third only after the ball was already in the infield. Kevin Tsuchida then supplied the dagger with a two-run double two batters later -- that would be the difference. Both pitchers fanned 15, but Melendez allowed only four baserunners to Epo's 15.

Crows doubledown Chickens to keep playoff hopes alive

MATTHEW ROBERSON, Sheryl Crows

Sheryl Crows 17 || Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles 5 (F/4)

As the Sheryl Crows and Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles converged on Sunday afternoon for a massive pair of games, the vast expanse of Cowen Park stretched before them. Apart from two foul lines and a fence, the park was a blank canvas, begging for an injection of art. But upon further inspection, this hallowed ground had received a visit from an unexpected if symbolic visitor. Glistening in the afternoon sun, just a whisper away from the very same batter’s box where the Crows would soon begin to rake, sat a solitary crow feather.

“I knew we couldn’t possibly lose,” said one Sheryl Crow, possessing the trenchant, concise lyricism of his team’s namesake and the correctness of baseball’s best thinkers.

The two resilient sides painted the field for three hours and change, combining for eleven home runs over the course of eleven wild innings. In the end, the Crows came away with two victories, taking the first 17-5 before besting Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles 22-19 in an instant classic.

Sunday marked the first known appearance of a fan sign in support of...who else...the Sheryl Crows.

Game one saw the triumphant return of Grant “Adam BongosVino” Bronsdon, who debuted a devastating new pitch that local fans have called The Wiggler. Zach “Five Tools, Six If You Count Sunscreen” Gottschalk went a perfect 5-for-5 at the dish while recording three RBI and two walks. Coupled with his usual stellar defense in left field, Gottschalk has become one of the league’s analytical darlings, a real WAR hero if you will. The Crows got out to a 6-3 lead and never looked back, scoring 10 runs in the fourth and final inning to grab their fifth win of the year.

Sheryl Crows 22 || Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles 19 (F/7)

Matt Pearson launched three home runs in game two to continue his offensive tear.

Life has a way of providing moments that make you remember exactly where you were when they happened. For the Crows—mostly a young group—these moments have been limited to mostly to the 21st century: 9/11. The 2008 and 2016 elections. The day Ichiro was traded. None of these days will have the historical implications to match 1:45-3:15 p.m. on July 14, 2019. For on that fateful day, the greatest Wiffle ball game of all time took place.

Down 11-6 heading into the fourth inning, the Crows rallied for three quick runs to shorten the gap. A shutdown inning from Matthew “I Don’t Know Why He’s Pitching Either” Roberson brought his murder of crows to the fifth with a manageable two-run deficit. Gottschalk got things started with a single to the left side, followed by another single from Tyler “Handsome Hunter Pence” Racher. Racher’s very own brother-in-law, Eric “Kurt Gibson With Hair” Sanford crushed the first homer of his Wiffle career to improbably put the Crows on top. The fifth inning ended with the visitors up 15-11, which stretched to 19-12 after Bronsdon cleared the bases on a carousel single in the sixth.

Zach Gottschalk watches his home run leave as Chicken 'n' Wiffles' Mike Constantine can only lean back and watch.

Clinging to a seven run lead, Roberson took the mound looking for his second complete game victory. Instead, he found himself in hot water, facing Matt “There’s No Way He Hits Another Home Run” Pearson with the bases loaded, and the lead now down to four. His team down to their final out, Pearson clocked his third dinger of the game, giving him 9 RBI and probably the biggest Win Probability shift in league history.

The Chickens have found a promising offensive threat in PJ "The Bedazzled One" Siberell, who homered again on Sunday.

The Crows, no stranger to a winding road, got out of the rest of the inning unscathed and came back for three of their own in the top of the seventh inning. Roberson’s extra-inning blast was the final fork in Chicken n’ Wiffles’ hopes, as their day came to an end when Pearson’s shoe was hit by a dart as the overzealous runner tried to reach third base on a single to right. That peg, much like Sheryl Crow’s ex-lover, showed just how powerful one ball can be.

Pale get off the schneid, split with Bangers

GREG NYSSEN, Hang and Bang

Hang and Bang 22 || ISO Pale 21

The wiffleball is a fickle beast, one that could not be tamed with 59 base on balls on the day. For the second straight week HAB’s J Mack gave his team a chance to win with a workhorse effort at 138 pitches, while ISO's Macgowan hurled 165, often frustrating HAB's best hitters with 35mph breakneck speeds at the top o’ the zone. After three ISO was up 14-12 and kept the pressure on throughout, led by 5 RBI's from Baugh and 6 from Wozniak. Wozniak and Watari each hit two run blasts to nearly put the game out of reach at 21-12 after the top of the 5th. But HAB hitters, resilient as they have been since losing two of their top pitchers to injury, loosened up with four long balls in the final two frames, a liner from Chuck Ries (his first since Little League) and three bombs from Alex Arkfeld. Four runs in the 5th and a brave no run 6th tossed by Mack put the game within reach at 16-21. Macgowan weathered the storm early but the train was now a rollin'.

Hiro Watari's continued a quietly productive rookie year for ISO Pale.

With the winning run on first, Arkfeld singled to left, and Nyssen tried to stretch it to third. An errant throw had him thinking home and game over, but ISO's third baseman reacted quick, chasing down the ball and pegging the diving Nyssen in the back just in time. Despite the dramatic save, a walk-off single by Ybarra ended it three batters later at 22-21. A true battle.

Captain Joe Wozniak homered in his league debut for ISO Pale.

ISO Pale 26 || Hang and Bang 11

Shane Huddlehuff hung tough to earn his first career win for ISO.

HAB, high off the game one comeback, started strong with five in the 1st and four in the 2nd behind three long balls from Ybarra and another from Arkfeld, his fourth on the day. Down 9-2 ISO was not deterred, taking full advantage of the lack of pitching depth from HAB and jumping to an 11-9 lead behind a Stephens homer.

Andrew Ybarra homered in his first three at bats in game two.

HAB tied it in the third, but could not hold off the ISO sluggers and the wiffle-wheels did come off. A grand hammer from Baugh made it 17-11, at which point three HAB pitchers no longer seemed capable of tossing their fickle friend, the wiffleball, across the plate. Nine walks and a few hits later, the game ended in the third at 26-11 on a fielder's choice by Par, giving ISO a well deserved win.

If there were ever a day where baseball should've been avoided...good thing this is wiffleball where anything goes, and it did. There was only one set of games this week, but it was a doozy.

If there were ever a day where baseball should've been avoided...good thing this is wiffleball where anything goes, and it did. Hang started with a Bang, living up to their name, putting up 15 in the first two frames, amassing 6 hits including a Grand SlaHamma and double by J Stevens, and timely singles by G Nyssen, helped by a WOW (World Of Walks). With the wiley veteran pitchers for each team gettin' too cute with wiffle’s oldest wiley veteran, the strike zone, it looked to be a long day...and it was. 16 BBs in the game for MK, outdone by HAB with 18.

The Mighty Knucks would not be the ones on the short end of this long-ass stick. They strolled back with four in the first, eight in the 2nd, and four more in the 3rd to go up 16-15, led by two ding-dong-ditches by Hatch. Those innings were filled with misery for HAB who despite the hits and walks could only muster one run to tie it, losing on a walk-off oppo single by B Williams. Nyssen put up five RBIs and Stevens put up four, but Hatch for MK said nah with a seven spot, followed by another four from Williams.

Game 2 started with an out...thank the wiffleball Gods. The outs did not return but for short visits over the next three innings for HAB. Their #1 Stevens gave hope on the hill, but MK stormed the castle. They put up 24 in the first three frames behind three long balls by Ryan, Tanay, and Wallach, a rare triple legged out by Marcoly, and a host of singles in a team effort hitting display. Wallach's knuckler kept the lid on HABs sluggers, save for Alex who went deep three times for 11 RBIs.

Then a baseball thing happened...the sky darkened, torrential rains started to fall, and HAB took their 6-24 deficit to 18-24 behind two massive battle axes thrown beyond the fence by Alex and Stevens, a timely rip by Ries, and patience by Mack and Nyssen in a 10-run 3rd. It was Alex's 3rd three-run blast of the game.

The Commish arrived, confronted with 42 runs after three innings, already past curfew at 8:15 pm. In the spirit of wiffle and Seattle rain, a fourth frame took place. MK was not concerned, although they experienced their first 1-2-3 at the hands of first time hurler Coolman, who let out an inspired howl. History looked to be in the making in the bottom of the last frame, where a two-run laser by Stevens was followed by a three-run blast beyond the realms by Coolman, who celebrated his first wiffle long ball by screaming "let's bring it all the way back!"

Alas, Wallach's mastery put the lid on tight, throwing a high inside nasty knuckler to end it 24-21. Epic. This is why we play wiffle.

The wheat and the chaff have moved to opposite ends of the standings. Some teams are jockeying for precious home field advantage, others are fighting to stay relevant in the wild card race, and a few are just around for the #loveofthegame. Yet these clusters will still cross paths over the next few weeks -- seeds will be spoiled, and the deck will be shuffled. The only constant is that everybody plays for pride.

The first pitch of this two-game series was driven into center field for a double by Ed Brown off of opposing pitcher Matt Morris, and that set the tone as to how the day would turn out for Juice pitching. The Bilabials put up seven runs in the first inning and were feeling good until the bottom half of the inning. Garrett Herfkins walked the bases loaded and later gave up a grand slam to Morris who helped his team cut the deficit to three runs.

The Stops would end up putting up crooked numbers on the board every inning until a mercy rule was called after four innings. Brown and Usoff combining for four home runs and 17 RBIs on the game, distancing themselves from the pack in the batting title races.

In the second game of the series the Bilabials were confident, knowing their ace was on the hill, but Brown just could not find the strike zone to save his life. He ended up walking in a run and would have surrendered more if not for a stellar fantastic play in center field by former track star and Boston native, Nick Usoff.

Adam Brickett would take the mound for the Juice in an attempt to suppress the Bilabial offense. Bash Brothers Brown and Usoff had other ideas, picking up right where they left off with a leadoff single and then a towering shot to left field by Usoff. The Stops wound up scoring five in the inning, with hopes their ace could settle down on the hill.

This was not the case, as Brown wound up walking 15 on the day and allowed 9 of them to score. Luckily the Bilabial offense was relentless and scored 13 on the day. Brown’s on field persona was in full form this Sunday with a lot of visible emotion, conflict, yells and wiffleballs flung into the sky, but hey you gotta #letthekidsplay.

Ah, the glory and pageantry of Wiffleball Sunday at Cowen Park on a gorgeous day. The Sheryl Crows took on ISO Pale in the second set of the games for the day. Game one saw a mighty pitching showdown between the Crows' John Trupin and ISO's Scott MacGowen that went a somewhat rare full 6 innings. John "Large Shohei" Trupin helped his cause by knocking a three-run dinger in the top of the first inning, but the Pales came roaring back and took advantage of Trupin's early command struggles and put four runs on the board.

The Crows' batters, while limited to a lineup of six, were determined to put runners on the bases and stormed back in the fourth inning to score four runs via doubles, singles, and some timely bases-loaded walks. The ISO Pale batters were also patient and determined to score runs, as the worked 11 walks off of Trupin and came back to make the score 10-8 Crows going into the sixth inning. Junkballer Trupin lived the phrase "bend, but don't break" which I can only assume is tattooed somewhere on his body: he walked the leadoff batter and gave up two singles, which made the score 10-9 before buckling down and getting the final three outs via soft contact fly outs and finishing the day with 155 pitches thrown, if the iPad is to be believed.

If Cowen Park was a barn, it would have burnt the fuck down.

Game two was shortened by time and saw both teams dipping into the deeper end of their rotations, with Matthew "Never the Same Windup Twice" Roberson getting his first start versus Shaney Huddlehuff, who was mercilessly heckled by his young son throughout his outing, even going so far as to detail the contents of his father's wallet. Huddlehuff persevered through these dastardly mind games to scrap out three innings, surrendering a grand slam to Trupin in the bottom of the second inning. This was certainly a day for pitcher flexing as MacGowan hit three home runs between the two games. Score one for the NL, I guess. Roberson was able to keep the walks to four and get a K, as well, through four innings of work in 52 pitches.

The Crows were chuffed to pick up their third and fourth victory, which were hard-earned against a short-handed but dad-strength-fueled ISO Pale squad.

The Mighty Knucks entered this series at 3-3, in standings purgatory. Above, four contenders; below, four rivals for the last playoff spot, with not much in the way of separation. The Knucks came out in a flash, jumping out to a 7-0 lead before the ink on the lineup cards had dried. The big hit was a grand slam to center by Brandon Wallach to cap the scoring, aided in part by 4 walks from Washout starter (me). The comeback was just as quick. Rocking a 7-man lineup, the Washout batted around before the first out was recorded, and the score was 8-7 after one on the back of six hits. And that was just about the offensive action. While Knucks starter Kevin Ryan flirted with but stayed out of trouble, there was nothing doing for the Knucks offense, which never brought 5 batters to the plate within an inning for the rest of the game. The Washout manufactured two insurance runs in the fifth. Andrew Winter led the Washout offense with a 3-4 performance.

Now 3-4, the Knucks needed a win. With #1 option Brandon Wallach on the mound, they still found themselves behind 3-0 courtesy of an Andrew Winter home run. But then they came to bat - and how! They dinked and they dunked, they doubled and they raked themselves into the lead. Now with a 6-3 lead, they got a boost by doubling off Jason Matt on a pop-up from Rish. The lead ballooned in the second, aided by some loose defense, either through unfortunate positioning or by balls through the wickets. Brandon Williams homered for the Knucks, and four players - Tanner Jump, JJ Nazzaro, Kevin Ryan, and Barron Tanay - doubled. Conor Roberson had taken the start for the Washout, and Andrew Winter came on in relief once the game was well in hand for the Knucks. The Knucks managed 12 hits and 12 walks; the Washout were held to 3 and 3.

Matt Pearson slaved in his workshop over the last week and crafted some shiny new toys to play with on the mound. His arsenal was diverse, and after a few warm-up batters he was suddenly capable of rifling a strike when he needed one. He was not untouchable, as Derek Jones muscled a home run to left in the top of the 2nd, but he worked quickly and notched five strikeouts while limiting the walks and earning lazy pop-ups. Andy Siegel vacuumed a lot of those up with an extraordinary day in left field, ranging to the ball in all directions, even robbing a homer in the 2nd.

Sensing opportunity in this game, the Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles offense was anxious to get on the board. Unfortunately opposing starter Jonathan Mack played on that anxiety, and his own soft-tossing style was effective at inducing contact towards the swift and sure-handed Banger defense. The Chickens would take a brief lead in the bottom of the 1st by scoring three, but went silent after that and trailed 8-3 heading into the 5th.

It was there that Pearson ran headlong into the plot twist in “Rookie of the Year”. His control escaped him. Free passes ensued. Worse, his arm began locking up. Liam Munro came in to close the book on the inning, but not before a crushing 10-spot was up. Mercy followed.

Liam Munro flicked his wrists, unable to see the ball in the evening sun. It sailed over the wall, and the Chickens had a 1-0 lead.

Despite this early setback, Spencer Minder came out firing in this one for Hang and Bang, striking out eight over six innings of work. Though his ten walks would sometimes get him into trouble, along with a small pile of singles, his defense was able to help clean up the mess. For example, Chicken newcomer PJ Siberell would usually work his way to first base, and every time it seemed he would be forced out at second on a fielder’s choice.

Michael “The Big Angle” Constantine returned to the hill, and showed a little rust with the following sequence: single, home run, single, home run. Alex “Too Cool for a Last Name in GameChanger” put out a good dinger, but Johnathan Stevens launched one into low-earth orbit.

Despite the early power surge, Constantine was able to settle down and goad the Bangers into popouts and flyouts over the next six innings, earning three strikeouts without issuing a single walk. Siegel and Siberell continued patrolling the outfield with authority, and Matt “Yeah Jeets” Pearson threw in a pirouette on a catch at shortstop.

Unfortunately all of this quality defense was in left field, while Hang and Bang figured out how to poke a few big hits into right. Greg Nyssen continued to be faster than he lets on, legging out several doubles and a triple over the two games, which turned out to be key for the Bangers in this one. Down 8-2 in the final frame, the Chickens put up a valiant effort and scratched out several walks, but it would not be enough.

The Juneuary phenomenon can be subtle if one is still in school, but it is quite noticeable in the regular rhythm of life. The beautiful brilliance of early June fades into the usual overcast and light rain before heating back up in July. Following nature, the league cooled off to only four matchups in the last two weeks.

This one was rough for the Chickens.

Down a player, starter Matt Pearson and the rest of the squad ran right into the teeth of the Knucks offense. Barron Tanay and Chad Kebba each drove in five runs, and Brandon Williams nearly had an invisible batting line with four walks in six plate appearances. Opposing starter Brandon Wallach and his knuckler pitched well, only getting wild in a five run third.

On the bright side for the Chickens, Jesse Spearson held off mercy in the top of the fourth with an absolute shot to the left field power alley. He was also robbed of hits on several liners throughout the doubleheader, which each nestled in Knuck hands.

This one was even rougher for the Chickens.

It did not help that their missing player was second pitcher Michael Constantine, which pressed the bullpen into service. To top it off, a steady rain began to fall after the first inning, making pitching even harder. Liam Munro gritted out two innings before his elbow tired, then Andy Siegel and Preston Sahabu made their pitching debuts as the ball became slicker and grittier in the wet.

Near-strikes and meatballs prevailed, and nearly every Knuck clocked a dinger in an impressive display of power. Kevin Ryan and Barron Tanay were much more effective at managing contact, leaning on their defense to polish off the victory.

The winds of Week Five calmed, the field practically set itself up, and the park was ours. While many teams took the week off to observe Father's Day, four took the field on a Sunday that saw a little bit of everything: Record-breaking homeruns, total pitching dominance, and fantastic defense that has become a central theme of the 2019 season.

After both teams tallied a pair of runs in the 1st inning to knot the score at 2-2, they each blanked each other once during the 2nd and 3rd innings. The Stops tacked on four runs in the top of the 2nd, while ISO added a run on Ryan Torren's bomb in the bottom of the 3rd to trim the Bilabials' lead to 3 runs.

Then came the top of the 4th, where the Bilabials didn't stop scoring runs until they'd scored a score of them on a walk and 19 hits, 8 of them home runs. In this monster of an inning, every Stop hit at least one dinger, with Brown, Moyes, and Vadnais swatting a pair apiece.

The ISO Pale offense battled valiantly in the bottom half of the 4th, scoring 5 runs to narrow the Bilabial lead to 18 runs. However, their comeback turned out to be too little, too late. Stops starting pitcher Garrett Herfkins improved his record to 2-0, despite an ERA of 18.58.

After the game, league home-run leader Usoff continued to deny repeated allegations of his abuse and\or enjoyment of athletic performance enhancing drugs, refusing to submit a blood or urine sample, despite repeated requests from several Seattle Wiffleball officials. Usoff would not be reached for comment.

Stops starting pitcher Ed Brown set the tone for the rest of the game by striking out the side in the top of the 1st inning on 9 pitches, all of them called strikes.

While ISO Pale starting pitcher Scott MacGowan did manage to dampen the offensive output of the previously red-hot Stops a bit, the Pale's single run scored on a solo shot from Sunny McGowan to lead off the 2nd inning paled in comparison to the steady stream of runs posted by the Stops. Bilabials Usoff (10) and Brown (7) both added dingers to their league-leading totals.

Brown wound up striking out 2/3 of the batters he faced, surrendering only 1 hit (the previously mentioned homer) and 2 walks to improve his record to a league-best 5-0.

Playing alongside his dad Marcos on Father’s Day, Max Melendez looked to stay hot on both sides of the ball, leading off and toeing the slab for the Washout. After scoring the opening run on a Conor Roberson sacrifice fly in the first, he took the mound and simply dominated. Hang and Bang fought valiantly, but couldn’t do much with a mix of pitches seemingly moving in every direction and dotting the edges of the zone. Melendez helped himself out in the second, hitting his first of two home runs to add to WCW's lead.

In response, Hang and Bang flashed the palms, making a number of great catches, including the robbery a Jeremy Salvo home run. HAB’s Jonathan Mack hung in there and prevented any big innings by the Washout, working out of jam after jam and stranding 11 runners. Salvo would have his revenge in the sixth with a home run that could not be brought back to top off the Washout’s victory. Melendez went the distance, giving up just one hit to Greg Nyssen, while striking out 16 and walking 5.

Following a pair of gutsy pitching performances in game one, Jonathan Stevens and Dan Rish looked to follow suit in game two. After Rish pitched a scoreless first, the Washout picked up right where they left off, taking a 1-0 lead on a Conor Roberson single. Stevens pitched out of trouble, benefitting from a double play in which Max Melendez was thrown out trying to tag up on a shallow fly ball. After a 1-2-3 top of the second, Jeremy Salvo hit his second home run of the day to put WCW up 4-0, scoring both the elder and younger Melendezes.

From there, the offenses of both teams took the rest of the day off and pitchers reigned. Stevens found his stride and shut out the Washout in innings 3-5. Hang and Bang’s defense recorded out after out with heads-up play and athleticism. But WCW's Dan Rish was up to the task, racking up 13 strikeouts and walking only four in throwing a complete game shutout to pace secure the sweep with a 4-0 victory.

It's 11:30 AM at Cowen Park, and chaos reigns. With an hour until scheduled first pitch, there is an ultimate frisbee game (replete with cones and jerseys - a sign of officialness) sprawled across the field. The holes for the fence posts have been filled in. A homeless man sits at home plate, angrily eating (and punching) pizza. The radar gun is missing. The commissioner is losing his cool. "Wabi-sabi", says Jeremy Salvo. It's just a little messed up, and that's alright. It's perfectly the way things should be. And so it is. The philosophy of the day. Wabi-sabi.

With their ace on the mound in Max Melendez, the Washout are not supposed to be in trouble. Yet here is winless ISO Pale, battling back from an early hole. With a “two-outs, who cares” attitude, they pull back to 4-3 after first inning deficit. The deficit swells to 7-3, and they just keep pace. They’ve walked 8 times after two innings, and it’s 7-6. Unfortunately for them, the floodgates then start to leak. Jeremy Salvo records a Little League homer to make it 9-6, and then death by a thousand cuts (or 5 singles and two walks) occurs. Jamey Stephens comes in in relief for Shane Huddlehuff, but by now there is no coming back. Melendez is done walking folks, and the rout is on. The Washout recorded two homers on the game, from Melendez and Conor Roberson.

Again, ISO came back from an early hole, with Scott Macgowen pounding a two run homer to center in the second, knotting the game at 2-2. The Washout worked out of a jam that inning to prevent further damage, with Conor Roberson making a key bang-bang put-out at third off an assist from the pitcher, Daniel Rish. Kevin Tsuchida was the answer for the Washout, as he powered the Washout offense throughout. After singles in the first and second, Tsuchida homered to right in the fourth inning, and came back an inning later with a matching bomb to left. Those homers provided half the runs in the Washout building an 8-2 lead. With the lead at 8-2, the Washout went cute, sending Andrew Winter to the mound to close the game and get some reps. Winter was rusty, walking three batters, none on deep counts.

Sensing the failure of the experiment, the Washout moved to return Rish to the hill. ISO manager Otto Par blocked the move, citing a seldom-noticed clause limiting re-entry to pitchers who have sat out at least six batters. In the moment of need, the Washout turned the ball over to Conor Roberson, hoping for an out while waiting for the blockade on Rish to expire. That out came ever so close with a 3-2 pitch to Macgowan, but the inning went back over to Rish with none out, and the tying run on first. It’s 8-5. Things are definitely messed up for the Washout. A strikeout. Scott Huddlehuff singles. 8-6. A lineout to Melendez! They’ll get out of it after all!

“No,” says Otto Par. He doubles. Given the green light to chance it, Macgowan rounds third, ball in pursuit. Rish has the ball - can make a play…and misses! Chaos! A tie!

The Washout come up in the bottom of the inning, get two walks, a Tsuchida single, and two pop-outs. Otto Par is one out away from sending the game to extras. With two outs and the bases juiced, Rish takes 1-1 pitch and parks it in the cheap seats of left field, and the Washout escape. For them, Wabi-sabi indeed.

This was a tight game early with both teams stranding runners and making key pitches and clutch defensive plays to get out of innings. Juice manufactured a run in the bottom of the first with league leading hitter Duncan Robinson coming around to score after a lead-off walk thanks to Sam LaCroix's sac fly and a Matt Guindon fielders choice. Hang and Bang quickly answered in the top of the 2nd with three consecutive hits-singles by Alex and Greg Nyssen and a double by Jonathan Stevens-to push a run across.

That would be the only run for H&B in Game 1 as Adam Brickett settled in and put together another solid performance in his first year as a full time starter. The Juice bats got going in the bottom of the 3rd with Brickett's first homer of the year and didn't stop until a Tim Haggerty 2-run homer (his second of the game) ended the game in 5 innings. Haggerty led the way for the Juice with three hits and 6 RBI in all.

This was the game that kept Juice captain Gabe Showalter up the night before, knowing that he'd be playing without the newly added extra defender due to LaCroix's early departure. He also did not know what he'd get on the mound with his usual arsenal MIA. Duncan Robinson and Matt Guindon played hot potato with the starting assignment, finally landing on Guindon after Robinson conveniently found himself with a scorebook issue that needed his attention after the top of the 1st.

Guindon quickly had everyone wondering why he hadn't seen the mound earlier as he cruised through three innings unscathed. After a couple runs in the top of the 1st built a 2-0 lead through three, Juice appeared to break the game open with a 5-run 4th inning behind five walks and three hits that stretched the lead to 7-0. H&B quickly bounced back to tighten the game up again with a 4-run inning of their own in the bottom of the 4th. Alex (solo) and Jonathan Stevens (3-run) swatted a pair of dingers to help H&B live up to the name.

With H&B starter Jonathan Stevens wearing down, Juice took advantage and truly broke the game open with a 10-run top of the 5th. Despite some mid-inning coaching from Nyssen that helped Stevens mix in some nasty pitches, Juice was patient as usual and used a string of walks and hits, including a Guindon 3-run homer, to put the game into mercy-rule territory.

Kevin Ryan found himself on the hill in his first career start for the Knucks. Kevin had some issues the first time through the order, walking three guys while giving up a hit. Nick Usoff continued his hot hitting and connected on a double to help the Stops jump out to a commanding 5-0 lead in the top of the first.

In the bottom of the first the Knucks offense alternated between walks and singles for nine straight batters to take a 6-5 lead. Starter Usoff continued to have command issues, conceding 5 consecutive walks from a patient Knucks offense. Brandon Williams doubled into left center to put the Knucks up 12-5 and chase Usoff after only one out. Reliever Vadnais quickly mopped up the damage and got the Stops back up to hit with a score of 14-5.

Kevin Ryan dug in and got two quick outs, including his first strikeout of the game, but soon after Usoff put a ball into orbit for a 3-run homerun. Skirting around another walk the Knucks got out of the inning with a strikeout looking.

With the chants of Knucks, Knucks, Knucks from the crowd the home team plated another 11 runs in the bottom of the second inning. Alex Hatch caught and hit his first homerun to opposite field before pulling a double down the line later in the inning. Tanner Jump, playing injured, laced a double down the line and cleared the bases for another extra base hit on the young season. Chad Kebba made his debut and battled off pitches all game, picked up a few base hits on 2 strike counts to keep the momentum going.

After another long sit, Kevin came out in the 3rd and put up his best inning, surrendering zero with only 8 pitches. Jaris Beasley got an assist as he threw out a runner trying to get to third, and Mighty Knucks secured their first franchise victory, 25-8. With the new jerseys, the team looked good on the field and put together a team effort.

After getting pummeled in the first game of their doubleheader, it looked as if the Knucks might hand the Stops another beat-down. In the top of the 1st, the Knucks loaded the bases in their first three at-bats, but Stops starting pitcher Ed Brown managed to work his way out of the jam via a strikeout and a double-play that scored what would be the Knuck's only run of the game.

In the bottom of the 1st, the Bilabials took a 2-1 lead on a couple of walks and two base hits. A pair of runs would be all the offense the Stops would need, courtesy of Brown's lights-out pitching from the 2nd inning onward.

Despite eight walks and one base hit, the Knucks put up goose eggs in their remaining five innings at the plate. Brown escaped two more bases-loaded situations in the 4th and 5th innings, thanks in large part to strikeouts and sterling defensive support from fleet-of-feet Usoff in the outfield.

The month of June welcomed us with another obscenely beautiful day for wiffleball. This week had a little bit of everything -- debuts, nailbiters, comebacks, walkoffs, and mercies, all with a heaping helping of strikeouts and dingers. 100% Real Juice and RBI Steaks continue to pace the league, but a few fresh teams showed off their intention to contend.

It took a miraculous strand rate and a comeback for the ages, but it's done: The Sheryl Crows have finally recorded their first wins.

In a doubleheader sweep over the league newbies, the Mighty Knucks, the Crows showed off their stellar defense, strong batting eyes, and incredible luck, coming away with 7–6 and 20–13 wins in front of 22 fans at Cowen Park on June 2.

"Perhaps we weren't dominant," player-coach Eric "J.T. Salter Stan" Sanford commented after the game. "But we were lucky, and we were victorious. Isn't that enough?"

Game One came down to the wire. A strong five-run first inning gave the Crows a lead they'd never relinquish — although they certainly tried. The Knucks managed to load the bases in every single inning, with starting pitcher Grant "Oppo Taco" Bronsdon getting out of major trouble thanks to double plays, clutch strikeouts, and strong up-the-middle defense. The Crows also showed off their power, with dingers from Bronsdon, Tyler "Uncle T" Racher, and Harry "Big Ginge" Page-Salisbury.

But the Knucks struck back, putting up a couple homers of their own from J.J. Nazzaro and Barron Tanay. Everything came down to one final at-bat, and really one final pitch. It's the stuff legends are made of: bases loaded, 3–2 count, one-run lead. That's when Bronsdon managed to record his sixth strikeout of the game on a pitch low and away.

"My command wasn't on point," Bronsdon said in the understatement of the decade. "But it's all a learning process, and I know I'm on the up-and-up. Plus, we got the W."

The second game of the doubleheader saw the pitching debut of John "Crafty Righty" Trupin. Despite his history as a D-III pitcher, Trupin struggled out of the gate, allowing seven runs in the first and allowing the Crows to fall behind 11–1 in the second inning. To say things didn't look good for Sheryl's bunch was an understatement.

Yet the game — and, really, the Crows' season — changed thanks to an unprecedented offensive surge.

Another Page-Salisbury dinger, combined with good baserunning, great bat-on-ball skills, and outstanding plate control, helped the Crows score seven of their own in the second and 12 in the bottom of the third. Troop also settled down, allowing only a pair of runs in the final two innings.

"It's hard to overstate how bad we looked at first, and yet how dominant we were by the end," Matthew "Master of the Strike Zone" Roberson said. "A win is a win, and we pulled out two of 'em. I'll take that every day and twice on Sunday."

The Knucks did finish the day with five homers, as Nazzaro hit two more in the nightcap, and their offense figures to remain superb as the season drags on.

Both offenses came out firing in the first inning, with each side racking up seven runs while the Stops’ Garrett Herfkins and the Chickens’ Matt Pearson labored through walks and singles. M. Pearson unleashed his frustration by leading off the top of the second with a titanic home run to left center, leaving the rest of his teammates so in awe that they failed to score any more runs. This would prove to be costly, as the Stops would strike back with five in the bottom of the second to take a 12-8 lead in this seesawing shootout. Not yet done, Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles rallied with six runs in the top of the third, punctuated by a go-ahead two-run single down the left field line from Preston Sahabu. Also not yet done, the Stops cranked out another six runs to retake the lead at 18-14.

With so much offense, time was running short, so the fourth inning was declared to be the last. Down to their final out and down by two, the Chickens’ Andy Siegel poked a grounder over to third and beat the throw to score a run. M. Pearson continued his hot streak and punched a grounder up the middle, scoring Sahabu from second for a tie, then Munro walked up and punished a three-run bomb to take a 21-18 lead.

However given the nature of the game, that lead felt tenuous, and the Stops recorded three runs in the bottom of the fourth to tie it before Bobby “The One-Armed Pirate” Vadnais slapped one up the middle for the walk-off. He was appropriately mobbed by his teammates.

Nick Usoff is a bad, bad man. In his first two at-bats against Michael “The Big Angle” Constantine, he destroyed two home runs over the left field fence. Garrett Herfkins hyped up the first with one of his own for back-to-back jacks, and the Stops raced to a 5-0 lead. Like the first game, the home offense countered run for run, working singles and walks off a wild Usoff. Ed Brown relieved Usoff to stem the bleeding, quickly working a strikeout and a fielder’s choice on a contact play, nabbing a streaking Andy Siegel at home.

Usoff avenged his pitching with yet another home run off The Big Angle. This earned him so much respect that, in his next at-bat of the inning, Captain Matt Pearson opted for an intentional walk with two outs and first base open. Constantine was somewhat irritated at the disrespect, but the gambit miraculously worked with Herfkins popping out to third. Still it would not amount to much with Brown mowing down batters in the bottom of the second to hold a 9-5 lead.

In fact the Chickens would never really threaten again, as Brown only allowed a single runner on base for the rest of his outing, with Jesse S. Pearson working a walk. Everything else was a strikeout or good defense. Meanwhile the Bilabial Power Show continued in the top of the fourth with Brown and Usoff going deep to build a mercy lead. After Brown struck out the side in the bottom of the fourth, that was all she wrote.

SEATTLE, Washington – It was quite the barn burner Sunday afternoon, as 100% Real Juice eked out a 32-0 victory over ISO Pale. Matt "Mike Trout" Morris led the Juice with 2 home runs and 8 RBI. Luke "Mike Trout" Moedritzer added 2 homers of his own, along with 6 RBI. Also contributing were Aaron "Michael Nelson Trout" Hunter (2 HR, 4 RBI) and Tim "Angels #27" Haggerty (2 HR, 4 RBI).

Also, Aaron Hunter threw a no-hitter.

SEATTLE, Washington – It was quite the barn burner Sunday afternoon, as 100% Real Juice eked out a 14-0 victory over ISO Pale. Epo Olivares and Aaron Hunter each homered for the Juice, and Tim Haggerty went 4-4 at the plate.

Also, Adam Brickett threw a shutout.

The two teams will continue their heated rivalry next season. Those contests, like this author at the bar last night, will be blacked out on MLB.TV.

As we reach the middle part of the season, teams are getting better, and roles are being defined within everyone's own wiffle universe. Little did the Steaks another pick up from the east coast would save their bacon again. Spencer Minder was keeping the Steaks pretty much at bay, until newcomer Tim Figuerido stepped up and hit his first home run (a grand slam) in his wiffle career. This blew the game pretty wide open in the 3rd, and additional home runs from Mitch Barham and Riley Brindle put the game out of reach for Hang and Bang.

Brindle spun it decent on the mound and was able to control his usual banter between him and the batter to a minimum to come up with another victory on the year. Jonathan Mack tagged Brindle for two hits and looked on top of the pitching all game. Maybe a sign of good things to come for Hang and Bang, but today was not their day.

We have all been there. You are missing guys because someone decided getting married was important to them. You have guys missing because vacation seems to be more important than a doubleheader of wiffleball on a Sunday. The Steaks were in this very situation, as Nick Winn, their normal 2nd game starter was out of town. In an old school move, they went to Mitch Barham, who hadn't pitched in over a year. Jo Ann Fabrics must have been open, because this crafty lefty kept hitters off balance all day, despite not touching 60 (we think, no one was gunning).

Don’t let the score of this game fool you, Hang and Bang has some pitching potential, if they can corral the speed and find the zone. Many a Steak hitter were impressed with the fire of their bullpen guys. Steaks walked 20 times in this game and ultimately, that was the whole story. Eric Dang checked in with two RBI's for Hang and Bang, but with Barham keeping guys off balance, rallies were hard to come by, and the game ended in 4 as well.

A blood-soaked message appeared in the inbox of the Seattle Wiffle Facebook Page:

Our wiffle armies thirst for a Seattle conquest, and today we came upon your pathetic page. Our legions stand forty strong, and we engage in a tournament among ourselves every summer to hone our skills. Our armies yearn for a more consistent campaign: to learn your ways, form a team, and crush your squadrons one by one. Your week one armies, and all those in the future, shall tremble before the Mighty Knucks!

-- Commander Brandon Michael Williams

We replied curtly. Challenge accepted.

In all seriousness, we are excited and delighted to welcome the Mighty Knucks as the ninth team for the 2019 Seattle Wiffleball season. They have a lot of catching up to do, having essentially taken three straight byes, but we are confident they are up to the challenge. With nine teams the league will switch to a 16-game schedule without divisions. The top three teams will get a first-round postseason bye, while the fourth and fifth teams enter a one-game playoff. On to the recaps...

The second set of games on May 19th was a match up of the past two World Series winners, leading to record setting ticket prices on the secondary market. 100% Real Juice drew first blood, plating one run in the top 1st by pairing singles from pitcher Tim Haggerty and Duncan Robinson with two walks as Riley Brindle struggled to find the zone. However, it was the 2nd inning that the defending champs did their damage. 100% Real Juice put the ball in play time and time again, stringing together 8 singles, with most of them perfectly placed between the foul arc and the pitchers mound.

The frustrated Steaks, desperate to stop the bleeding, deployed a new fielding strategy based on the recent rule change. Jimmy Froio moved in from the traditional second base position to play the “Dwarf Stop” position, standing in front of the pitcher and right behind the foul arc. While 100% Real Juice scored 6 runs in the 2nd, extending their lead to 7-0, the new fielding tactic proved effective for the Steaks throughout the rest of the series.

The Steaks scored a run in the second and third inning, while 100% Real Juiced continued their trend of scoring every inning, adding one in the third and 3 more in the 4th. The Steaks’ bats came alive in the bottom of the 4th, returning the 6 run inning favor with 5 hits, 3 walks, and some classic Steaks aggressive baserunning. With the Steaks pushing for a late comeback, Captain Gabe Showalter stepped to the plate with 2 outs and 2 on, smacking a clutch 3 run homerun that ended up being the nail in the coffin, securing victory for 100% Real Juice, 14-11.

Game 2 was set up to be a pitcher duel with two of the best pitchers in the league, Nick Winn and Epo Olivares, taking the mound. They combined to fan 5 batters in the first two inning, with the highlight being Riley Brindle pleading with Epo to throw him and off speed pitch after whiffing at two fastballs. Epo complied, throwing a slow slider two feet off the plate, which Riley took one of the ugliest swings in the history of wiffle ball at, ending the 2nd inning tied 0-0.

The Steaks broke the tie by plating 3 in the 3rd on a sac fly and 2-RBI single by Riley, reclaiming a small portion of his dignity. Steaks added 3 more in the 4th on 5 walks by Epo. Another clutch hit by Gabe in the 4th got 100% Real Juice on board and left the score 6-1 Steaks after 4 innings. Due to time limit, the 5th inning was set to be the last, until it ended up being the halfway point in the game. Down 6-1, 100% Real Juice mounted an epic last inning comeback fueled by 7 walks and a timely hits, scoring 5 runs to tie the game at 6 runs each.

Against all common sense, Epo and Nick appeared to be getting better as the game went on, combining to strike out 16 batters, allow 2 hits, and no runs in innings 6-8.

Commision Dan told both sides that if no one scored in the 9th inning (with each team starting the inning with a runner on second), the game would end in a tie. The Steaks loaded the based in the top of the 9th and a sky high pop up by Jack Sandstrom swirled around in the wind, landed, scored Steven, and gave the Steaks the lead. With the bases still loaded, Epo responded by striking out Jimmy Froio for the second out. Then, Steven McGinley stepped to the plate and broke the game wide open with a grand slam to dead center.

After Epo ended the inning with his 14th strike out of the game, it was 100% Real Juice chance to answer in the last inning, again, down 11-6. With the 5th inning implosion still fresh in his mind, Nick seized his second chance to shut the door, striking out the side to end the game with 20 strikeouts, a win for the Steaks, and the series split between that last two champions.

The first offensive explosion of this game came, fittingly, in the first inning. Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles ambushed veteran starter and new captain Otto Par for six runs in the top of the first, with opposing pitcher Matt Pearson helping his own cause by smacking a grand slam. Despite the early hole, the potent Pale offense did not give up hope and scored three of their own in the bottom of the first, with Hiro Watari stroking a double to score two and Scott Macgowan popping a sacrifice fly to bring the score to 6-3.

Things went weirdly quiet in the next two innings with no runs coming across for either side, a combination of effective pitching to contact, crafty strikeouts, good defense, and questionable baserunning. While the Chickens held the lead, it did certainly did not feel secure.

To rectify that in the top of the fourth, the Chicken bats went Nashville Hot and burned six more runs into the book. Jesse Pearson helped set the table, driving in a run on two hits in the inning, on his way to five for the game. Andy Siegel uncorked his forehand tennis power to smack a three-run home run, and M. Pearson made it a double with a two-run homer. Sitting 12-3 with the time limit closing in, the game seemed in hand.

It was not so. A bucketful of walks, singles, and defensive miscues brought ISO Pale to 12-6 before an out was recorded in the bottom of the fourth. With the bases loaded, Par dropped in another single and Watari lined a grand slam, cutting the lead to just one. Macgowan said, “Thank you, I’ll have another,” and went back-to-back with Watari to cap off the nine run rally, bringing the score even at 12 headed into the fifth and final inning.

Siegel did his best to shake his team from shock by putting the ball in play and using his speed to nab a single. Michael Constantine walked, M. Pearson struck out, and Liam Munro flew out to right field, allowing Siegel to tag up from second to third. J. “Swinger” Pearson cooly walked to the plate and struck the first pitch right back to Par, tying him up and allowing swift Siegel to score for a narrow lead. A nervy bottom half of the inning saw the tying run reach third with the winning run on first, but three skillful fielder’s choices sealed the game for Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles.

Michael “The Big Angle” Constantine was on the bump for the top of the first. He gave up a single, a walk, a home run to Uli O, and another walk before stepping off and grimacing in pain. It’s being called a upper right back strain and he’s week to week, like us all. Constantine gestured to the bullpen by tapping his left arm, much to the surprise of Liam Munro, who began warming up for his season debut.

Munro gave up another field goal of a home run to Scott Macgowan before working his way out of the inning on a strikeout and two fielder’s choices. The sixth fielder has helped Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles immensely, allowing them to calmly make plays instead of scrambling around like, well, chickens with their heads cut off. The score stood 6-0, but there was plenty of game left.

Macgowan was the first hurler for ISO Pale, and his defense was not much help as Constantine still had functional legs, wheeling around to score from first on a Matt Pearson single. Macgowan went on to surrender five runs on four walks and three hits, earning one strikeout before being lifted for Jamey Stephens, who began his outing with four walks and a single before stemming the bleeding at 11 runs for an 11-6 deficit.

Munro gave up another field goal to Stephens in the top of the third, but the blow was mitigated by his squad’s continuing offensive onslaught, so he kept a comfortable lead at 17-9. Shaney Huddlehuff took the mound for ISO Pale in the bottom of the third and was quite effective, surrendering only one baserunner while pushing two strikeouts. In the fourth and final inning, Hiro Watari Ichiro’d yet another grand slam, but Munro put a nice bow on the game with his second strikeout.

Captain Jeremy Salvo sacrificed himself to give the Washout an early lead. They would continue adding, with three RBI walks charged to Nick Usoff in the second. At 4-0 with the bases loaded, the Washout looked poised to add more. Salvo skied one to right, and Jason Matt tagged from third. The throw from Usoff cut him down as his foot came down on the plate, and the carnage was stopped. The second inning still gave the impression of a runaway.

Daniel Rish was dealing on the mound for the Washout, seemingly in little trouble even after allowing a solo homer to the Bilabials Garrett Herfkens. The score was 5-1 after the third. Then, in the bottom of the inning, the Stops rallied, with 5 singles and a sac fly, coupled with two walks. In a blink, 6-5 stops! The final lead change came in the form of a Jack Kineke double, making the score 7-6 for the Washout. Insurance of all stripes came in the bottom of the fifth with the Washout scoring five times to get to the final tally. The story of the game was 16 walks for the Washout, compared to 5 allowed. The Stops outhit the Washout 8-6, with three for the Washout coming off the bat of Jack Kineke.

The first pitch of the game was driven to the fence and perhaps over by Daniel Rish -- and still caught by left fielder Garrett Herfkens. Undeterred? Unfazed? Or, maybe fired up would be the best way to describe Stops pitcher Eddie Brown. He started dealing such that he wouldn’t need much support. It came in the first. Having walked two batters, Max Melendez was in trouble, but it looked like he had a chance, when Bobby “the One-Armed Pirate” Vadnais bounced an easy grounder to the shortstop. Rish fielded it cleanly, but then botched the throw to Jack Kineke at second, scoring Brown. Melendez would get out of the jam with two quick strikeouts, but the damage was done.

Brown allowed a harmless single to Jack Kineke in the second, and then got to bases loaded with one out in the third, but he worked out of trouble, giving a more triumphant fist pump each time he left. Melendez was equally dominant, working out of the lone bases loaded jam, but in wiffle, teams rarely score from the mound. In a time-shortened 5-inning game, the Washout needed a run to stay alive. With Jeremy Salvo on base, the Washout’s Conor Roberson pulled the 1-2 pitch down the left field line to the fence, but just foul. Brown cleaned it up with a final strikeout to make his final count 11K’s and just one hit in five innings. Bobby Vadnais finished with 3 of his team’s four hits.

Some players respect the game, and others force the game to respect them.

No player demonstrates this feeling more than Matthew Roberson, the junkball pitchin', bandana wearin', bat flippin' emotional leader of the Sheryl Crows. While the Crows got their wings clipped on Sunday by the (team formerly known as) Sons of Pitches, the expansion team showed some encouraging signs of improvement.

Do not be fooled by Roberson's 24.00 ERA. The righthander's funky deliveries and impeccable command kept the Crows in the game after starting pitcher Nick "Uncle Rico Minus the Talent" Wright made his league debut by issuing four walks, a hit, and five runs without recording a single out. Though Roberson tragically permitted his first two walks of the season during the back half of Sunday's doubleheader, he also roped a bases-loaded double to give the Crows their first runs of either game and allowing the grounded offense to finally take flight. His subsequent bat flip earned effusive praise from academics across the globe, with hi-res photos displayed prominently in countless museums.

Limited to just six players for Sunday's affairs, the Crows got ample chances to acclimate to the Hangers’ and Bangers’ pitching. Though still hitless on the season, Wright and Zach "If Mitch Haniger was Somehow Whiter" Gottschalk picked up their first RBI of the year on a pair of patient walks. The duo also combined for a sparkling defensive play. Roaming the vast outfield, Gottschalk extended an arm above the fence to knock down a sure home run. Eric "I'm a Man, I'm E-40" Sanford corralled the ball and fired back to the infield, unfortunately without any semblance of a target. Wright swooped in for his best Derek Jeter impression, fielded the ball near the first base line, and unleashed a rocket off the home plate board to nail a runner trying for an inside-the-park homer.

Like their Baltimore-based bird bros, the Crows have been mostly trash in 2019. But, as the team inches closer to full strength with players returning from vacations and hamstring troubles, look for the Crows to soar magnificently above Ravenna and into the hearts of a nation.

Many a mom proved to be plenty understanding of our passion for The Bendable Game, with six teams in action this Mothers Day. We hope everyone was still able to spend some quality time with their mothers this weekend, be it before or after their games, in person or in spirit.

The day started out overcast and grey, with the clouds eventually burning off to reveal a mild summer afternoon and evening. Spectacular defensive plays were a fixture in every matchup -- keep an eye out for them in these recaps!

He need not have worried. Constantine consistently pounded the zone, surrendering only one walk, but that strategy also led to 18 hits, of which five were home runs. Jack Kineke continued his campaign against eephus-like pitches, bashing two dingers to go with his one against Matt Pearson’s yakker. Captain Jeremy Salvo and Melendez went back to back in the 2nd, and Julian Morales spiked another for good measure. At least there was a nice fence to look at in the foreground, which Andy Siegel did his best to destroy, robbing another home run from Melendez on a spectacular catch.

Washout pushed into their bullpen to test their depth after building an 11-0 lead, and the Chickens gamely took walks and scratched out singles in response. The game inched to 12-10 before Melendez reentered in the top of the fourth to close it out. Morales’ home run pushed across some backbreaking insurance, and the game was called after five due to time limits.

COWEN PARK -- Picture this. You’ve spent your whole life preparing for one big moment, your debut, your chance to fulfill all those dreams. Remember that project you did in third grade about what you wanted to be when you grew up? Your teacher said “wiffleball pitcher” definitely didn’t count. You didn’t listen.

And now, here you are.

Seven walks, twelve awkward jokes, and at least three semi-sarcastic rounds of applause later, there you were. Heading to the showers (or, in this case, shortstop), with your team following not far behind.

So it went for Grant “Rick Ankiel” Bronsdon on Sunday afternoon in his Seattle Wiffleball debut. And notwithstanding a few good plays on defense, a few scattered hits, and a bases-loaded RBI walk, so too went the Sheryl Crows, falling to 100% Real Juice 16–0 and 14–1.

With a core contingent of the team out this week — including the only player with any collegiate playing experience and one of two players with any previous wiffleball experience — the Crows, in their debut doubleheader, were likely facing an uphill battle. Further complicating things was the opponent: The Juicers, as longtime fans will note, won the title last year on a walkoff walk, and their suspiciously strong lineup has struck fear into the heart of many an opposing pitcher.

That nine-run first inning, combined with the nasty pitching of Aaron “Wild Thing, Minus the Wildness” Hunter in the bottom of the frame, effectively shut things down and cemented an early win for Gabe “I’m Not Chris Taylor, I Swear” Showalter. The clutch relief pitching of Tyler “I Almost Hit a Homer But It Was Foul By Five Feet” Racher and Stephen “Incredibly Calm and Rational Sports Fan” Felak kept the damage from getting too out of hand.

The biggest highlight, of course, was the league history made by Harry “Robbie Alomar, Minus the Spitting” Page-Salisbury in Game One. With one out and a runner on first, he smoothly fielded a ground ball, tagged the runner, then threw on to first to complete the first traditional double play in league history. A remarkable feat, no doubt, and it only reinforced the notion that the Crows, for all they lack on the mound and at the plate, could make up for it with stellar defense.

It took a scratch hit from Leonard “Bob Dylan” Su in the fourth to prevent the no-hitter, but that was all she wrote for the Crows in Game One.

Game Two saw a better start but a much weaker finish. With their bullpen ravaged by poor play and a terrifying dearth of talent, the Crows turned to Matthew “Right-Handed Jamie Moyer” Roberson to finish off the contest.

“I went with the Hector Noesi approach of throwing every ball right down the middle,” Roberson said. “Zero breaking stuff.”

Things unfolded predictably from there, with 10 runs crossing the plate. It took a bases-loaded RBI walk from Bronsdon (not to be confused with younger & cooler brother, and teammate, Colin “Don’t Call Me C.J.” Bronsdon) to give the Crows even one run on the day.

But former Cannonball Coming stalwart and Crows captain Eric “Father of the Cutest Two-Year-Old I’ve Ever Seen” Sanford had nothing but praise for his team after the game.

“I’m proud of my guys,” Sanford told Wiffleball Weekly Sunday night. “Sure, we didn’t do well according to the statistics. But none of us believe in analytics or numbers or any of that crap. We’re focused on winning ball games and giving it our all, and from what I hear, the boys really gave it their all. I guess they just didn’t have that much.”

Good news seems to be just beyond the horizon: While 100% Real Juice remains as formidable as ever, sources indicate that both Bronsdon brothers are meeting Monday night for a strategy session, and the elder brother has begun sleeping with a wiffleball in his hand in a search for a yips cure.

Regardless of the outcome, both teams seemed in good spirits, happy for the chance to soak up the sun. Perhaps the Crows’ next game will go better; after all, everyday is a winding road.

The Bilabial Stops were baptised with a Winn-fueled fire, as Nick Winn outshone the debut of Nick Usoff on the mound. Usoff weaseled his way out of trouble in the first, holding the Steaks to one run after four walks in the first five batters, but his counterpart never got in trouble in the first place. Mitch Barham homered in the second and two RBI walks gave him credit for the first 5 Steak runs. Down 8-0 and responsible for two more runners, Usoff was relieved by Garrett Herfkins, who performed admirably in the face of the Steak onslaught. The game ended in mercy, with the Steaks racking up 18 walks to go with 7 hits. Herfkins picked up two of the Stops’ three hits.

Poor Garrett Herfkins. He had his obligatory, “Oh what? We play two?” rookie moment at the end of game one and had to leave his teammates short-handed to face another defeat made more probable by his departure. (Don’t worry Garrett, we’ve all been there.) But something else was at play. Beginner’s luck? Or more? Time will tell. Nick Usoff began things with a crack, sending the ball sprinting towards the outfield fence at an altitude of 5 feet before a timely hurdle made it clear the fence. 1-0 Stops.

A Jack Sandstorm triple and score (on a ball that barely snuck past lone outfielder Usoff) followed immediately by a Steven McGinley dinger made the score 2-1 Steaks. That would be the lone lead of the game for the Steaks. The BS’ers loaded the bases, using veteran patience against Riley Brindle, before Captain Eddie Brown helped his own cause on the mound by uncorking a grand slam. 5-2 Stops. Quickly, the lead ballooned. 6-2 on a Bobby Vadnais RBI single. 8-2 on another Brown dinger. All of a sudden, the ESPN prognosticators highlighted the Steaks: UPSET ALERT.

The Steaks clawed one back in the second but none in the third, and now they faced a new threat: time. Despite having two solid pitchers on the mound, the first 3-½ innings produced 24 baserunners and countless deep counts (22 ending in a walk or a strikeout). The game was decreed to go only to 5 innings. The Steaks pulled within 8-4 with one inning to play, but Ben Burkhardt made his presence felt with 3 hits in the 5th inning to lead a 5-run insurance rally. Eddie Brown closed out a solid opening performance by shutting the door. Though he allowed two more across, courtesy again of McGinley, the game never felt in danger for the Bilabial Stops and they scratched out their first franchise victory.

One could not wish for better weather than what we had on Opening Day 2019. Sun shining, but not too harsh; breeze blowing, but not too hard; larpers having a party in the nearby valley. (wait what) Due to a scheduling snafu, Cinco de Mayo was a soft opener with only the four returning teams going at it, renewing stagnant rivalries from last season. Let’s get to it.

Adam Brickett, pressed into service by the offseason departure of Aaron Hunter and the gameday absence of Epo Olivares, made it immediately clear that he would play third fiddle to nobody. He worked a quick 1-2-3 with two K’s, and the opponents were forced into the field before they knew what happened. It seemed that every time the Chickens started a rally, the Juice defense would squelch it with impressive plays, and Brickett would punch in a strikeout or two for good measure.

Matt Pearson took the hill for Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles, working with a revamped arsenal and looking to leverage the new sixth fielder. Things almost went according to plan, with Pearson keeping the ball around the strike zone and badly fooling some batters, but walks, ground ball singles, and home runs would eventually unravel the squad over four mercy rule shortened innings.

The bats stayed cold for Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles in this one, facing off against Matt Morris on the hill. Despite his colorfully expressed inability to pitch a wiffleball, he leaned effectively on his stellar defense, which hunted down pop-flies and threw groundballs across the diamond with easy grace. Curse the newly-sodded infield. The Chickens’ only run would come off a perfectly placed double in the left field corner, which was damped by an amazing play from the outfielder to peg a runner advancing to third in the back of the knee.

Michael Constantine made his Seattle Wiffle pitching debut for the Chickens, and was ultimately quite effective. Towering over his opponents and throwing from a brand-new rubber, “The Big Angle” used Chris Young levels of wizardry to charm pop-ups and gentle fly balls to his defense. Of course when one lives by the sword, they die by the sword, and he surrendered a solid scoop of home runs in the effort.

Though the Juice defense was nigh-impeccable, the Chickens made good decisions, solid catches, and a few athletic plays to keep the game within reach. One particularly fun play saw a bobble off an infielder (that shall remain unnamed) wind up in the hands of Constantine for an out. Another saw Andy Siegel christen the brand-new fence with a high jump flop while trying to rob a home run. The fence remained upright, as advertised.

Despite the two defeats, Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles remains optimistic about the rest of the season while admiring 100% Real Juice’s pursuit of a title repeat.

Past seemed like prologue for the Washout as they watched this season begin with two Steak walks before a strike was thrown. It would come to pass, but not yet. Max Melendez would record three quick outs to escape the first unscatched. RBI Steaks pitcher Riley Brindle, a recent call-up from the Thai developmental league, performed well in his season debut. His squad fell behind early on a fielder’s choice by Kevin Tsuchida in the first, but quickly retook the lead as Joey Meucci parked an self-admittedly ill-advised Melendez knuckler in the following inning. The Washout squandered an opportunity to retake the lead in the following inning, as Conor Roberson and Jason Ciummo made it two on with one out, waiting for the top of the lineup. Unfortunately for the Washout, Brindle induced a Daniel Rish strikeout on 3-2 in the eighth pitch of the at-bat. Andrew Winter then singled, but was cut down on an aggressive choice to make for second. The game was all twos, 2-2 after 2.

Then, the wily veteran Steaks made their move. In a disastrous half-inning for the Washout, the Steaks found six walks, coupled with a routine pop-up falling in for a hit between Rish and Jason Matt. The Washout would plate one more in the fourth, but left the bases loaded, falling 6-3 in a full-length game. Conor Roberson went 3-3 for the losers, while Joey Meucci led the way for the Steaks by driving in 4.

In the highly anticipated matchup of Nick Winn vs. the speed limit...nothing happened! A rare few pitches got called back, but mostly, Sly Cy kept it tamped down. The first two innings zipped by, with Winn and Washout counterpart Jack Kineke solid thunking the board. Winn ran into a spot of trouble in the third, as the Washout loaded the bases with one out and walked one across. Alas, they would come to regret tipping that strategy. After leading 1-0, the Washout headed into the bottom of the third. A few walks and in between-er singles left the bases loaded, with no outs and the score 3-1. Kineke would walk the next five batters, before being rescued by teammate Daniel Rish, who...walked the next two batters. Two K’s, two more walks, and one fielder’s choice later, the recently 1-0 game was a 12-1 affair headed for mercy. The Washout came close to prolonging the evening, getting the score to 12-2 with the bases loaded, but Winn shut the door and proclaimed the Steaks well-done for the evening.

The wind blows through a little fresher. The sun hangs around a little longer. Cowen Park dries out and leaves an actual field behind. Soft plastic connects with hard plastic. It is that time of year, friends: wiffleball is back.

Before we look forward to 2019, we must do a proper tribute to what has been left behind in 2018.

Walks With Four Balls Runs Out of Name Changes

You may know them as Wiff Waff, Get A Wiff, or Walks With Four Balls, but this founding team of Seattle Wiffleball has chosen to fold this season. Captains Andrew Ybarra and Greg Nyssen held their teams together with grit and sheer force of will, and could always be accounted for a competitive match week in and week out. We wish them the very best in their “retirement”.

Cannonball Coming Hangs ‘Em Up

After three wonderful years in Seattle Wiffleball, Cannonball Coming and captain Patrick Meagher will be stepping back from the league this season. As an opponent on the field, I will not miss their crafty pitching and power hitting. As a league, we will dearly miss their enduring sportsmanship, impressive athleticism, and full embrace of dad swag.

Swing at the Fence

Plastic construction wire, hot orange and frayed. Bamboo poles woven in with various lengths and strengths. A constant struggle to stay upright in the lightest breeze. The fence has been a known health, safety, and gameplay hazard for the last five years -- I am happy to report that it has been replaced.

On to the happier stuff...

A New Fence Approaches!

Smooth blue fabric, well-attached and stretched taught. Plastic poles that can bend all the way down to the ground before popping back upright. Stake inserts for solid and consistent setup. The new fence was advertised to us as a dream, and hopefully it will live up to that dream!

Narrator: It did not live up to that dream.

Rule Changes

In an effort to improve the game experience and encourage balls in play, the following rule changes have been made:

1. 68 mph speed limit. Pitchers may throw no harder than 68 mph. If they do, the offense may take a ball or the result of the pitch. An exemption is made for the first such pitch in an at-bat, where the offense may take a no-pitch or the result of the pitch.

2. Sixth fielder. Teams may now play with a pitcher and five fielders. All fielders must bat, but four-member lineups are still permitted.

3. Free defensive positioning. Defenders in the field may position themselves anywhere in fair territory, as long as they do not interfere with the batter.

4. Mandatory use of league balls. The league will provide stamped game balls to ensure a uniform offensive environment. Pitchers may scuff league balls using league tools. A bullpen will be set up so pitchers may practice with league balls before their games.

5. Optional mercy rule. If a team is behind by more than 20 runs after two innings, they may opt into the mercy rule.

The Rookie-ish Teams

We are excited to welcome four new teams into the league this year, many of which are captained by players returning from last season. Let's get hype!

Otto Par, long-time pitcher for Walks With For Balls, has taken his talents to a team of his own. Recruited from his friends and bolstered by free agents, they wanna bring the power and place the league beyond the Pale.

If you are a long-suffering Mariners fan, you almost certainly know about Lookout Landing and their wonderful writing. Eric Sanford, formerly of Cannonball Coming, has rallied his fellow writers together and brought a sunny murder to Cowen.

Back like they never left, Greg Nyssen (WWFB) and Spencer Minder (Sons of Pitches) are leading a brand new team. Frances Nyssen (WWFB), Jonathan Stevens (SP), and Karl Koch (CC) also appear on the roster, Voltroning together with a few free agents.

A gang of misfits with a passion for wiffle. Captain Brown has the difficult task of bringing together a squad of talented free agents and forming a real team out of them. Sons of Pitches faced a similar road last year and made the playoffs. Can it happen again?

The Veteran Teams

We have four teams returning to play ball this year. You know them and you love them, but just in case you need a refresher, we are gonna preview them too.

The reigning champs. A perennial contender with devilishly good pitching and powerful hitting, Gabe Showalter looks to lead his band of brothers into battle once more and grab the first back-to-back titles in league history.

The runners-up. After a heartbreaking finish in the Series last year, Jeremy Salvo continues to oversee a long lineup and deep bullpen. Six athletic fielders are also going to cause a problem for opposing teams.

After a bit of a down year last season, largely due to major events in the lives of many teammates, Jimmy Froio will try to get the band back together in search of a second title. They certainly have the talent, but it takes more than that to rebuild a dynasty.

In contention for the playoffs nearly all of last season, Matt Pearson's squad was pushed aside in the final week. The pitching and defense need to improve for this team to find the postseason, and a few more hits certainly wouldn’t hurt.

I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to create a new league website from scratch, but here it is. Scores, league leaders, and standings are no longer buried in a series of dropdown menus. Liam will no longer have to endure the bizarre, medieval torture of entering stats into League Lineup. And last but not least, no more carefully targeted ad-vertisements reminding you that Lysol produces the finest lemon-scented disinfecting wipes that money can buy. Welcome to the new home of Seattle Wiffleball.

There was a lot of luck involved in wrangling some really cool features for this site. The stat pages are completely driven by Google Sheets, which means we can add just about any stat that can be calculated from what we capture in GameChanger. The schedule is readily accessible - it's easy to see who is playing who, when, and we can finally end the decades-long debate over who is truly the home team. Team histories, an easily navigable rulebook, and mobile decency are just a few of the features that should make our online experience a little better than in years past. This is still a work in progress. Player profiles are still in development, there are some skeletons in the closet that would make a legit programmer violently diarrhoeal, and there are probably a few bugs to work out. That being said, please do send us your feedback and suggestions and we'll do our best to fold them in. Cheers.